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blue-devil-of-the-lord · 6 months ago

Note

How do you feel about writing more Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler? After watching X Men 97, I forgot how charismatic this elf man can be. If possible, I need an introverted reader with barely any social skills who starts to malfunction whenever a certain blue is around. When confronted, reader is basically 'you're too pretty' and almost dies of embarrassment.

Social System Error

Kurt Wagner x reader Words: 1.9K A/N: I changed it a little bit to fit the scenario, but I hope it's still up to your expectations :)

You wished that the ground would swallow you up. Who knows, maybe you would find a mutant who could grant you that wish, as long as you looked hard enough. Clasping your hands to your face, you felt your cheeks grow hot and slid down the door of the room before sitting on the floor.

Why couldn't you be normal for once? Talk to him normally for once, make small talk and say goodbye elegantly? But you weren't allowed to do that. Instead, you had to run into the next door just because Kurt waved at you and gave you one of his most charming laughs. Instead, you spilled your coffee all over the table just because he entered the room. I

nstead, you couldn't get a word out when he came your way, you just turned around on the spot. It was horrible.

The fact that you had developed a crush on the blue mutant was really no secret and the fact that he hadn't noticed was a real miracle. Or maybe he had found out and just decided not to do anything. You didn't know which option was worse.

So far, you had really done your best to avoid him as much as possible so that he wouldn't think of talking to you, but you could always at least catch a glimpse of the blue mutant out of the corner of your eye. You just couldn't help it, Kurt was wonderful. He was funny, charming, polite, intelligent and incredibly attractive. One look at his face with a beaming smile was enough to make your legs go weak.

And today you had really blown it.

Rogue had finally managed to convince her brother to stay at the school and he had decided to teach some of the classes. You were both thrilled and devastated at the prospect of seeing this wonderful man every day, and probably embarrassing yourself every day after you'd already ogled him more than once.

However, when you had entered the staff room at lunchtime and seen Kurt sitting next to Ro on the sofa in his shirt, suit trousers and loose tie, you had immediately stormed out of the room with a bright red face and gone to the staff bathroom, where no one had been at the time. In hindsight, you really should have locked that door.

You energetically threw another handful of cold water onto your face and rubbed your cheeks several times to be on the safe side, hoping to drive out the redness. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," you mumbled and leaned against the edge of the sink, head bent forward. "How am I supposed to survive this. God, I bet Rogue recommended these clothes to him. Lord help me."

Nervously, you began to pace up and down, ruffling your hair. "Why does he have to look so good? Can't he be ... normal attractive? Not inhumanly, divinely attractive?" You'd embarrass yourself, really embarrass yourself, and he'd never talk to you again. Or worse, think you're pathetic and talk to you out of pity.

You came to a halt in front of the mirror again and looked at your reflection. "No, no." You couldn't bear the thought. "Okay." You exhaled and leaned against the edge of the sink again. "It can't be that difficult. Just be normal. Or whatever," you mumbled. "Just be cool. Kurt's just another teacher, he probably doesn't even know you exist. You just go up to him and start a conversation, that's all."

You exhaled. "You can do this, take it easy." You looked up, meeting your gaze in the mirror, and put on your most believable smile. "'Hi Kurt, how ya doing?' No, no, that's too casual." You paused for a moment and thought. "'Good afternoon, Mr. Wagner, how are you today?' Oh God, far too formal."

You wipe your face in frustration. "Come on, it's just a conversation, nothing more. You can talk to students all day. What's the difference? Apart from the fact that Kurt is a lot more attractive and wonderful and that you have a crush?" You gave a somewhat exasperated and forced laugh. "Nothing more than that. Gambit would laugh at you if he saw you like that." Your fingers drummed on the porcelain of the basin.

"'Hi Kurt, I just wanted to take a minute to say that I really admire you and think you're wonderful and funny and...um I've seen you around here quite a bit and..." Groaning, you threw your hands up in the air. "God, I sound like a crazy person! Or a stalker! Or both! This is way too much too soon. Just... keep it casual. 'Hey, you're Kurt, aren't you? I'm glad you've decided to stay with us'."

You nod and run your fingers through your hair again. "That works, doesn't it? It's not too casual but not too formal and I don't sound like a crazy stalker who's way too obsessed with a stranger. Okay, good, you can do it. Just relax and stay cool. Who knows, maybe he won't even notice you and you won't have to talk-“ As you turn around mid-motion, you freeze in place, your heart skipping a beat. "-with him," you added meekly, your eyes widening in panic as you realize who’s been silently listening to your pep talk. Across from you, leaning against one of the toilet stalls, is Kurt, his arms crossed in front of his chest and an amused smile playing on his lips. His tail whips lightly through the air, as he slowly releases his arms from their twist.

You had to admit that your next move wasn't particularly brave. All the self-confidence you had been trying to build up over the last five minutes had disappeared and you did what was the only logical thing to do: you dashed past Kurt out of the bathroom, sprinting down the corridor, feeling incredibly grateful that you didn't have any more lessons today, meaning that you could hide in your room in the hope that you would never have to face him again.

Just the thought of it made your face flush with shame and you threw yourself onto your bed to release frustrated screams into your pillow. You weren't quite sure how long you'd been lying there, but a knock on your door brought you out of your racing thoughts. You didn't really feel the need to talk right now, but you heaved yourself out of bed anyway when there was a second knock.

You were pretty sure you must look horrible, clothes and hair out of place from the bed, but usually only Gambit or Jean came by and both had seen you in some worse circumstances. Sighing, you opened the door. "Listen, I'm not-" You broke off mid-sentence, looking up wide-eyed at the person in front of you, who was definitely not Gambit or Jean.

"Hello, am I interrupting?" Kurt looked down at you, his lips curled into a sweet smile and your heart instantly beat in your throat as the heat rose in your cheeks. You could only shake your head, causing Kurt to smile even wider. "Wonderful." He stepped slightly towards you, leaning against your doorframe, and you were pretty sure you were going to explode instantly.

"Can I...I help you?" Your voice was barely audible and shaky and you tried your best to avoid eye contact, but it was so incredibly difficult. Kurt's eyes were bright and shining and so attractive that she found it hard to look anywhere else.

"Indeed yes." His smile became more mischievous and you were pretty sure your legs wouldn't be able to hold you up for much longer, they were so weak. "I saw you storming out of the staffroom earlier and I was worried. What if you're ill? Or something is wrong? So I thought I should follow you to make sure you were okay."

It was pure torture. You wanted to sink into the ground, get struck by lightning, anything just to avoid having to have this conversation. Kurt, however, seemed quite determined to do so.

"But when I got to the bathroom, something was revealed to me that I could never have guessed." Ashamed, you turned away, your hands over your face. "I'm so incredibly sorry Kurt, I really am... I'm so unbelievably embarrassed right now. Please, forget I said that."

He raised an eyebrow and looked slightly amused. "You called me wonderful and funny. That's a little hard to forget." You groaned. "God, kill me."

"Ah, ah, ah, let's not start with that," he admonished, raising a finger. His smile softened and he gently stroked a finger over your hand, which was still covering your face. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing wrong with it. Even if I don't quite understand why." At that moment, you decided that it couldn't get much worse and that if you were going to be embarrassed, you could at least get it all out at once. That way you would have limited the most embarrassing moment of your life to a few hours and not a period of weeks or months.

"Because I like you and you're incredibly attractive and perfect, but I'm not brave enough to tell you that and so I become a walking mess around you every time and I'm only telling you this so I can get it over with and you only have to reject me once and not twice."

You had spoken quickly and quietly and were pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to understand you, however he seemed to do so as he stepped towards you and slowly stroked your cheek again, this time more tenderly and with a sugary sweet smile on his face.

"Actually, that hadn't quite been the plan, my dear," he murmurs, a gentle lilt to his voice. His tail emerges from behind him, swaying lightly as if adding to the suspense. With widening eyes, you realize he's holding a bouquet of flowers wrapped with it.

Perplexed yet touched by his gesture, you accept the bouquet, feeling the soft petals under your fingertips. His smile broadens, his eyes twinkling with anticipation. "Can I take you out to dinner? Tonight?"

Your eyes widened, cheeks burning with a mix of surprise and excitement. "What?" you stammered, caught off guard by his unexpected invitation. He chuckled lightly, tapping your chin, which had dropped in astonishment.

"I'm asking you out," he repeated with a playful grin. You were at a loss for words, your mind racing as you tried to process the whirlwind of emotions flooding through you. When you finally managed to utter a "yes," your voice came out as no more than a soft squeak, barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

Kurt smiled contentedly, took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. "Tomorrow night, eight o'clock. I'll pick you up." With a wink and a slight bounce in his step, he disappeared down the hall, leaving you standing there, bouquet in hand, still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

As the realization sunk in, you hurriedly set the bouquet down on your table and dashed down the corridor to Gambit's room.

You had a date with Kurt Wagner, and the sudden rush of excitement left you with one pressing question: What on earth were you going to wear?

Part 2 (in work)

#kurt wagner x reader #nightcrawler x reader #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #x men #xmen #x men 97 #xmen 97

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 1 year ago

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New Fear

I have been on tumblr a long time. A looooong time. Far longer than I should have been, really.

And I've been arguing with schmucks about birds being dinosaurs... pretty much that whole time. Folks tend to get angry when a dinosaur blog posts birds, after all. It happens.

And while the game of whack a mole is ancient, it's not unpredictable. Usually, it ends in one of two ways:

the person admits they were wrong, and they back down

the person stops arguing with me and blocks me

I'm okay with either one, really. the former is ideal, the latter at least brings me peace.

Never before this past weekend has someone insisted they were right no matter what I say

And this isn't a coincidence.

Over the past few decades, anti-science sentiment has risen worldwide. I mean you just have to look at the COVID19 pandemic, or general reactions to the problems of climate change.

While of course people who think their opinion matters more than evidence have always existed, they have never been quite this bold before.

The idea that the colloquial definition of dinosaur matters, at all, is a completely new idea and one that has no basis in reality.

And yet, multiple people this past weekend argued exactly that.

And it sounds exceptionally similar to the idea that people could pick and choose things about COVID19 to believe, or the general republican position on science (only things that back up their bigotry are true).

It really seems to reflect a general increase in anti science sentiment and public anti-intellectualism.

Reality isn't actually up for debate. Reality isn't actually subjective. And science is the measure of reality

This isn't the same as the biases of society impacting science and making it worse. Saying "what people think is more important than science" is not the same as saying "science forgot a very important variable / factor / to consider data gained by different cultures / to have a wide variety of perspectives/ etc."

And allowing people to continue to perpetuate and believe in delusions leads directly to the spread of misinformation, leading to more people not understanding reality, and so on

This matters because reality matters. Because the reality of our world is not something we can change or escape. And, in fact, us ignoring the reality of the world - like thinking we can have infinite growth on a finite planet - is directly leading to the destruction of that world (climate change).

I am terrified of the rise of anti-science sentiment. I am terrified of the rise of cherry picking, deciding reality is what you want it to be, ignoring evidence. We see this from purely scientific topics all the way to social justice (how much of racism is ignoring the evidence of a) race being a social construct and b) how much racism impacts people's lives? Almost all of it).

This is bigger than birds being dinosaurs or evolution or climate change. This is about our society going on a deeply disturbing and self-destructive path.

And I really don't know what to do about it.

#birds are dinosaurs #whack a mole #science isn't subjective #climate change #covid19

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sescoups · 6 months ago

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surprise - lee jihoon

masterlist

summary: your boyfriend needs to know how pretty he is, and you can only think of one way to show him

word count: 1.2k

a/n: i blacked out again. idk what happened but i am in love with this man so ig that explains it.

18+, MDNI!! warnings under the cut <3

warnings: oral (m. rec.), deep throating, mentions of penetrative sex, reader is so down bad but so is jihoon so it's doubly gross tbh, lmk if i forgot something!

You’re distracted, to say the least. The worst part is that he isn’t even doing anything particularly seductive, you’re just down atrocious. To you, there’s something about the way Jihoon’s fingers move over the keys as he works on a melody on his midi keyboard, something about the way he taps the drum pads, and when he stretches in his chair you can barely stop yourself from melting into a puddle.

He’s just too pretty, and you can’t let him live without knowing just how much you appreciate his mere existence.

When your knees hit the floor next to his chair, he jumps in his seat. He hadn’t heard you move, and almost forgot you were there. Not really, because how could he - you’re his favorite human to ever walk the earth - but you had definitely not been at the forefront of his mind right then. Your eyes meet his, and he just knows he’s about to be absolutely ruined forever. Again.

With the help of the arm rest, you turn his chair in your direction until you’re settled between his knees. You rest your head on his knee, staring up at him with wide eyes. His beauty will never stop baffling you, you think.

The position you’re in reminds Jihoon of too many similar occasions for him to be able to stop his dick from getting hard, but he suspects that was your plan anyway. Your eyes glisten at him the way they always do when the tip of his cock is kissing the back of your throat, and suddenly, his mouth is dry and his head is empty. Your hand trails up his thigh and he has to shut his eyes to escape the sight of you for a second; otherwise, he fears he may combust.

Your hand comes into contact with the bulge straining against the front of his basketball shorts, and a hum leaves your throat. You don’t mean for it to happen, it just does. Maybe it’s because you can’t help but think of how he can ruin you with it, or maybe you just sincerely feel like his pleasure is yours, too. It doesn’t really matter. As the nails on your left hand scratch against the skin of his right thigh, your right hand is teasing at the waistband of his shorts. You blink up at him, waiting for any indication (other than his erection) that he wants this and you’re allowed to keep going. Consent is sexy.

“Please,” he breathes, and who are you to deny him?

You lower his shorts as well as you can while he’s sitting in his desk chair, and he lifts his hips to help you out. His boxers come off with them, and you come face to face with one of your favorite parts of your boyfriend’s body. He takes his shirt off, too, because wearing only that is weird to him. You couldn’t care less, distracted as you are.

While yes, your underwear is absolutely ruined at this point, you’re not after stimulation for yourself. Your only goal is to swallow Jihoon’s dick whole and swallow every drop he gives you so he can get back to work. You don’t even think about teasing him and simply grip him with one hand, stroking a few times while you watch his face slacken in pleasure.

Once his hips start lifting of their own volition you can’t hold back any longer, so you put his tip in your mouth and suck gently. A punched out breath leaves him from above you, and you meet his eyes briefly before his roll to the back of his skull. Your lips twitch around his shaft before you sink deeper, starting a slow bob up and down.

Some days, he prefers for you to go fast; others, he just wants to feel your every movement, the drag of your lips against his skin driving him insane. Today, he’s torn. He wants to cum so bad, your sweatpants and messy bun combo wreaking havoc in his mind, but the sensation of your tongue against his shaft is too good to pass up. His skin feels like it’s burning, and while he can’t see the flush spreading down his neck and onto his chest, you sure can.

“Fuck, you’re so good to me, darlin’,” he mutters out, his thighs trembling from the pleasure. You swallow around him in response, and his hips force him deeper into your throat.

Where he isn’t the longest, he’s thick. Your lips are straining around him, as is your throat. You think it must be the best feeling in the world to be choking on his fat dick, jaw aching and drool spilling out through the corners of your mouth. Jihoon appreciates the view just as much. Too much, maybe.

“Baby, baby, I can’t, I need to- I’m- please,” he ends up wheezing.

You hum around him and sink down the rest of the way, letting your nose get buried in his pubic hair. You stay still for a moment and swallow again, and then he’s gripping his chair for dear life as he spills himself directly down your throat. He’s convinced that he’s going to grip your hair so hard it will hurt you if he doesn’t keep his grip on the chair, but he wants to touch you so bad, wants to let you know that you bring him more pleasure than he’s ever felt in his life.

As soon as he’s finished, you’re pulling back to suck in a deep breath. His body has gone limp against the chair, a thin layer of sweat having materialized on his skin mere minutes after you started. His chest is rising and falling fast, and that glorious flush is still gracing his neck and chest. He looks so pretty you can’t help but lean in and suckle gently on his tip again, only to be swiftly rebuffed.

“If you think I have anything left to give you right now, you’re insane.”

You laugh and wipe around your mouth, licking your lips. Your boyfriend is still reeling, convinced he’s dreaming or hallucinating or something, because there is no way this is real. The constant white noise that occupies his head is quiet, and in its place is you. He’s still not sure if he should just take you home, fuck you like you deserve and then fall asleep or write you a song, because he’s honestly extremely inspired right now.

While he’s zoned out, you stand up and move back to the couch. Your knees crack as you go, but you don’t even wince; you have no complaints about what just happened, and you will gladly wait a few more hours to go home with your lover. You’re pulled away from your phone before you’ve even properly unlocked it and pulled into a slow, passionate kiss by the man of your dreams. You hum against his lips, and he groans at the taste of his own release tainting your lips and mouth.

“I think,” he mumbles, hand carding through your hair and gripping it tightly, “that we need to go home. Right now.”

Once again, who are you to deny him?

a/n: if you liked this post, please remember to like and reblog! thank you <3

#seventeen smut #svt smut #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #woozi smut #woozi x reader #lee jihoon x reader #lee jihoon smut #kpop fic #kpop fanfic #woozi #sescoups writes

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ronwestbreeze · 1 year ago

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you're gonna go far | 6

pairing: jake sully x neytiri x tsu'tey x fem!human! reader summary: a scientist arrives on pandora (unwillingly) a year after the exile of the rda. now she must deal with the likes of a clan leader, a great warrior, and a thanator rider. . . word count: 8.5k

read on AO3

It was a little difficult to get out of bed that morning.

One of those days.

Long and exhausting. It was challenging to get stuff done. You knew things like this wouldn’t just go away instantly. But you hoped that maybe…

It wasn’t too bad like before. You were able to think about the chores that had to be done later in the day and pushed yourself out of the bedroom.

So you went through most of the day barely existing. Norm was the first to notice your slight change in behavior because he began trying to joke more with you—no matter how bad they ended up being—and tried getting you out of your head. And you were thankful for that. At least that’s what was different this time around. You weren’t entirely alone nor held up in your room.

That was progress, right? You honestly couldn’t tell. Sometimes you felt like you were still stuck, that you weren’t moving forward. Or getting better. At least back to what you used to be.

Yet, you’ve been this way—asleep—for so long that you have forgotten what you used to be like. You forgot when the last time you smiled. You forgot when you felt the most happy or any other emotion besides anger and grief.

You wondered where that part of you went. Some days you went searching. Other days you somberly accepted that it was a part of you, that you were never going to get back.

At some point, you figured it died along with your mother.

“You want me to check on the baby today?” Norm asked you as you were getting ready for your link for the day.

You shook your head as you sat on the link bed, “No, I’ll be fine. Just one of those days, you know? We all have em’.”

He frowned when you shrugged it off or appeared a little too nonchalant about it, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Thanks for offering though.”

“Anytime, Doc.” He gave you a pat on the shoulder, while watching you particularly closely, “Just tell me you need a break. Don’t push yourself, okay?”

He was nice. You needed something like that.

Neytiri noticed it too.

While the two of you were in the garden that day, Neytiri had been saying words in Na’vi for you to repeat. And you did it, not perfectly of course, but you managed. It was just that you didn’t take in any information. Not in the way she knew you to.

You had a certain look that told Neytiri you were hanging onto her every word, whenever you were learning something new from her. Eyes slightly vibrant with curiosity.

That look wasn’t there today. Instead, in its place was a dullness and lifeless sort of unfocused gaze.

Your ears were low again.

Neytiri didn’t know when she became so attentive to your moods or facial expressions. So much so that she could tell when you were somewhat happy and really, painfully sad—

You were just easy to read in this form.

Yes, that was it.

“What is wrong, tanhi?” Neytiri eventually asked because she didn’t completely despise you so much to ignore your change in mood.

There was a twitch in your ears when you heard your name being called. You looked up from the newly planted mushroom seeds you had been mentally counting at Neytiri to find her staring at you expectantly. “Huh?”

She rolled her eyes, “You are not listening. I know you are distracted. What is wrong with you?”

You cringed at yourself for allowing yourself to get so distracted by your swimming thoughts. Drowning in them as usual. “It’s nothing. Just have a lot on my mind.”

But the answer did not satisfy her. Neytiri shook her head, “Sky People are always hiding their feelings. You are doing that. It is okay to be sad. It is natural.”

“I’m not hiding it—” You sighed, turning your gaze back to the mushroom seeds. “It’s just one of those days. Maybe—Maybe today I am sad. I could barely get out of bed and tomorrow it might be worse—what are you doing?”

You watched as Neytiri got up and moved behind you. A second later, you feel a brief tugging at your hair until it became loose from your short braid. “If you want to learn our ways, then you must take care of your hair. I look at it and it is a mess.”

“It was in a braid before…”

“I did not like it.”

With that, she got up again and trekked back into the forest. You watched her go in bewilderment at the sudden change of conversation and attitude from the Na’vi woman. You had no idea what had come over the woman or what made her suddenly leave, but you didn’t focus on it for too long. The confusion and startlement you had was enough energy to continue planting the rest of the mushrooms. You didn’t bother putting your hair back into a braid, not wanting to spend time threading through the thick strands until your fingers were too sore to complete your job. And the last thing you needed was something stopping you from finishing this one simple task—

A splash of cold water was suddenly dumped onto your head, leaving you soaking wet.

And terribly pissed.

You snapped your head behind you to find Neytiri placing the leaf down next to her—which was glistening with water. The same water that was now spilled all over you.

“Neytiri—ouch!”

“Hold still.” Neytiri hissed at you as she ran her long fingers through your hair.

You grumbled but reluctantly listened, still confused and a bit pissed at what was going on. And for a while, the two of you remained there. You, sitting on the ground still counting the seeds quietly to yourself while Neytiri stayed behind you. Braiding a few strands of hair.

It was then you realized just how different your hair was from the way it was in your human body. The hair length was very similar to how you used to wear it when you were a teenager. You wondered then just how old this avatar body was.

Once she was finally finished, she crouched down in front of you to get a better look. Her yellow irises scanning your face and her work. Tucking rebellious strands behind your ear, patting down some of the fuzziness, and making sure the braid was visible around your face.

You watched her quietly. And soon, when she was done obsessing over your hair, she watched you too.

It wasn’t the way you and Jake watched each other. This—this had something different about it.

Time was an illusion here. Trapped in her yellow gaze. You hadn’t realized you had been staring for so long—nor did you realize you had briefly glanced at her lips—until a sudden sound from the forest pulled the both of you out of this strange trance.

And once you snapped to your senses, your body quickly reacted. You shot to your feet and cleared your throat, “I gotta check on the avatar now.” You didn’t meet her gaze. “I’ll see you.”

Before she could stop you, you already scurried off. Stopping once you were far enough away out of her sight.

Stopping when you felt a new pair of eyes watching you rather closely.

You glanced around the forest surroundings as you approached the longhouse with a frown until your eyes locked on another pair of yellow eyes. Severe ones.

Tsu��tey was in the trees further away but enough for you to see him watching you, even when you caught him doing so. He did not look away from you. Narrowed eyes and that scowl resting on his angular face.

For a moment you wondered what the look was for. You wondered what he could yell at you about this time, even though you listened to his demands and had stayed away from the Omatikaya territory.

A scared part of you wondered if he had seen you and Neytiri just now.

Nothing happened. But still, it would give enough ammunition for him to verbally attack you. Hate you even more possibly.

Except there would be no battle today. As Tsu’tey disappeared within the trees without a word.

You were confused but relieved at the same time.

Dealing with an angry clan leader was not on your to-do list. Nor were you properly prepared for it.

After watching the trees in silence, you eventually went inside.

Neytiri watched your retreating figure with a frown, her heart…shifting—only a little bit as you disappeared. Her gaze then moved toward the trees, the area where the sound had come from before. And with an irritated frown, she got up and stalked toward the area.

They were still there. She could feel their eyes on her as she went further into the forest. With a hiss, she glared at the trees, “Come out. Enough hiding!”

Just a little bit above her, a few feet away a familiar warrior snaked out of the bushes and seated himself on the large branch with his usual expression he wore whenever he was away from their shared hut.

Neytiri frowned up at Tsu’tey, “You are watching me.”

“I am watching her.”

After a beat and a quiet sigh, Neytiri climbed up the tree and joined him. Despite his very sour mood, he tugged her close to his side as they sat together. On the branch, they had a good view of the Avatar Compound. A few dreamwalkers were running about but none of them seemed to bother Tsu’tey as much as you did. Neytiri could easily tell with how he kept glaring at the longhouse, the same place she always watched you disappear in whenever you left your false body.

“You have been spending time with her,” Tsu’tey stated more so than asking. There wasn’t much to hide, they both knew Neytiri spent some of her free time visiting you. Only when Tsu’tey or Jake are busy with their duties and she’s finished with hers before the both of them. “I do not like it.”

“She has done nothing.” Neytiri reasoned.

“Yet.”

“And what did I say if she does? I would kill her myself.”

As she said this, Neytiri felt a certain wavering in her heavy words. Like a part of her didn’t believe it anymore.

She rested her head on his shoulder, hugging his arm with a content sigh, “But I cannot ignore what the Great Mother has shown me. She has stopped my bow before and now she’s done it a second time. Do you not think it means something, yawne?”

In the corner of her, she watched as his jaw tightened, his features becoming particularly focused. “I do not trust this.”

“You do not trust the Great Mother?”

“That is not what I mean.” He corrected her calmly. Neytiri knew that Tsu’tey, like any other child of Eywa respected her and trusted in her signs. Always had. That was how he was raised. And she knew he wasn’t about to abandon that because of one demon.

But his words were still reluctant, “I do not know where our Great Mother is leading us. I do not know why she wants that demon spared—when she is just like the rest of them.”

Neytiri considered his words, “Perhaps she is like Jake—”

“There is only one Jake. And she is nothing like him.”

She made a sound of disagreement but didn’t push further on the subject. She noticed how tense he was, how tense he had been for the past week. She wondered then if he was truly upset by this or if there was something more to this quiet anger he so carefully restrained. Of course, his hatred for the Sky People was no question.

But Neytiri knew Tsu’tey.

Skin and bone. Heart and soul.

She knew her mate. Not only as a mate but as a friend. They had grown up together. Along with her sister, Sylwanin. There was nothing he could hide from her even if he tried.

“She may not be like Jake. But clearly, the Great Mother has chosen her for a reason. My mother even allows her to stay—I believe it is time you seek the answers.”

Tsu’tey scoffed but didn’t brush her off. Instead, he leaned in closer, allowing his hand to rest on her growing stomach. “You will be a great Tsahik.”

“Not as great as my mother. Nor my sister.”

Tsu’tey shook his head and cupped her cheek, “You will be great, my beautiful heart.”

A soft smile tugged at her lips only to falter when she noticed how exhausted he truly looked. How close he looked to breaking but hiding it. He could never hide it well from her. Nor Jake.

She then took his face in her hands and whispered soothingly, “What is it, my love?”

Knowing that there was no point in denying a response—knowing that Neytiri would not stop until she got what she wanted—Tsu’tey turned away from her to stare back at the compound.

“The Tipani clan are becoming reckless. They already do not like the Sky People that have stayed—but now that the demon has come, I worry they will begin to take matters into their own hands. I worry…that our clans will begin to clash.”

Neytiri took his hand in hers and pressed a gentle kiss onto his knuckles, “If it comes to it, I will stand by you. Jake will too. But I also will ask you to speak to our Great Mother about your troubles.” She caressed his exhausted lines with a small frown, “I worry for you, Tsu’tey. I do not want you to take on this task by yourself. You have Jake and I to be with you. That is why Eywa brought us together.”

Right then, he seemed to consider her words. His gaze was still unfocused while staring at the longhouse. A silence settled between them.

“Eywa has created this new path for us.” Tsu’tey mused. “Somedays I wonder if it will lead to something good in the end.”

“Do you think it won’t?”

He was silent. And Neytiri didn’t push.

When Tsu’tey went to the Vitraya Ramunong, the night had already settled around him. When he went to kneel at the tree, connecting his queue to one of the links, his prayers were silent. But his questions were clear. His intention was pure to the Great Mother.

What does it all mean? Guide me, All Mother.

So when a single atokirina flew away from the tree, Tsu’tey took to following it both out of curiosity and apprehension. The Great Mother’s answers weren’t always clear. If anything, her signs only led to more questions.

So, Tsu’tey wondered. He wondered if this would lead to any more answers.

Or just more unwanted questions.

Tsu’tey rushed through the forest, never losing sight of the spirit. He kept going and going until he was nearing the Sky People’s base. Until the trees suddenly became familiar. Until the grounds he had seen many times before unwillingly began to appear around him.

But his body never stopped moving. He never stopped following it. Too desperate for answers. Too desperate, too yearning.

Oh Eywa, he was yearning.

And then, and then, and then.

And then he was staring down at your still false body.

It was strange. Seeing no life in your face. Tsu’tey had only seen your false body from far away, but now seeing you up close. You looked so different yet the same as your human form.

Why was he here? Why did the spirit bring him to…

No.

His vision rippled. Your body morphed from your human form to your false body—impossible.

And then he woke up.

Awake.

Tsu’tey finally realized where he was. Instead of standing in the middle of the forest chasing an atokirina, instead of standing over your false body, he was back in his hut. With his mates sleeping next to him. With his son cuddled between both Jake and him. With Neytiri hugging his waist from behind.

A dream. It was only a dream.

But why you? Why you?

Why?

“Yawne?” Tsu’tey breathed out a sigh and looked over his shoulder to find Jake shifting out of his sleep, looking at him through heavy eyelids. He sat up a bit, careful not to disturb Neteyam’s sleep as he did, “Another nightmare?”

Tsu’tey hesitated—considered the question. The dream he just had. Was it a nightmare?

“No. I am fine. Go back to sleep, my love.”

Jake didn’t look entirely convinced but eventually lied back down. Usually, it took a while for Jake to fall asleep, so Tsu’tey lay back down, adjusting Neytiri’s arm around his waist and squeezing his other hand on Jake’s shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jake asked, his voice deep and sluggish.

Tsu’tey nodded, and tucked his nose into Neteyam’s cheek as gently as he could, “I am now.”

It took you a little longer to get out of bed the following week. But you managed. You watched a few more of your mother’s logs and even some of the other ones still in the system.

Dr. Augustine. Norm. Some guy named Quaritch. And then there was Jake Sully.

As a human.

You paused the video to examine his face. You suppose the traits matched his now blue form. The only difference was that instead of his longish dreads, he had a buzz cut in the video. And a tattoo poking out of his short sleeve shirt.

Eventually, you moved on, willing yourself to forget his face for the time being.

You also tried not to think about the fact that Neytiri hadn’t been back for about a week now. Which was normal. You didn’t overthink it. Especially not after that moment—

Eventually, you moved on, willing yourself to forget your thoughts about her.

Then you remembered Tsu’tey. Him watching you so closely. You hoped he didn’t see you and Neytiri. Frankly, you weren’t sure what would happen if he did know.

He’d kill you. That’s for sure.

Eventually, you moved on, willing yourself to forget all three of them.

When you finally got out of bed, you continued with your regular schedule and tried to think of literally anything else. You tended to your garden by yourself and continued checking the baby.

There was a bit of determination for yourself, to keep moving. To not stay in one place any longer or else you’d be stuck.

And you weren’t sure if you’d make it out if you did.

Jake continued visiting the tank room whenever he could.

Today was one of them. Only this time you made it before he did.

“How’s the baby?”

You glanced up briefly from your notes, “Healthy. It might be because Na’vi babies might grow faster in pregnancy—judging by that we might have a couple more months before it’s born.”

Jake nodded, his face serious, “Anything else?”

For a brief second you didn’t respond, too caught up in your thoughts until you realized he had asked you a question. Jake tilted his head, brows furrowed at you.

You shook your head eventually, “No, everything’s all normal.”

He stared at the belly for a moment longer before he left. You were somewhat surprised at his quick retreat but didn’t think much about it. He was some type of great warrior, he was probably busy with something else in his clan. If it meant that the two of you didn’t have to interact much with him anymore or probably a lot shorter than before, then you were okay with it.

It seemed he finally took the hint.

All you could do was keep moving.

Jake came again the next day.

This time around you brought out the ultrasound.

He watched you and the machine intensely. You noticed and gave a sound close to a huff or a snort, “Nothing’s wrong with it. I’m just doing a thorough check-up today.”

A quick look of relief crossed his otherwise exhausted features, “Right, right, of course.”

Once you got the ultrasound running and connected to the avatar, you immediately found the heartbeat with the blurry image of the fetus appearing on the screen. It had grown considerably since the first time you saw it.

“There she is.” You mumbled mostly to yourself. The heartbeat was calming in a way, easing your usual tense muscles.

Jake perked up instantly, staring at you in disbelief, “She? It’s a girl?”

You glanced up at him briefly to find a soft expression on his face upon looking at the fetus. Neteyam—who you just noticed attached to his chest—sleepily snuggled closer to his father’s chest. When his head moved out of the sling, Jake held the back of his head, giving it support.

“Yes.” You gave a short nod.

Another look of relief flashed across his face, this time he didn’t try to hide it like before. A small smile tugged at his lips, “That’s—That’s nice. Amazing.”

In the corner of your eye, you watched him. That easy fatherly expression fell upon his face. How soft his smile was, for something that wasn’t even his. You weren’t sure what to think of it—no, you expected it. It was foreign. A father loving his child. To you at least.

You didn’t know your father. Nor did you have a father figure in your life. That type of love was unfamiliar to you.

Love itself was a foreign concept that you could not yet grasp. The only time you could truly say you experienced something close—similar to love—was with your mother.

And if love was like this—heavy. Leaving you…like this.

You weren’t sure you would want to experience any type of love ever again.

“You sure you’re ready to take on another?” You raised your brows, not looking up from the belly.

Jake looked at you, “Do you care for my answer?”

“I am watching over her. I suppose I should make sure she is left with somewhat tolerable parents—that is, if there aren’t any problems with her when she’s born.” You hummed, rolling your eyes at the sudden look of worry on his face. “Relax, that’s the standard check-up of any baby—well, I don’t know how different it will be compared to human ones.”

A beat went by before he finally answered, “I wouldn’t be honest if I said I wasn’t nervous. What new parent isn’t?”

“Mmm.”

The rest of the session was just the two of you, sitting in a somewhat comfortable silence. Comfortable for you because you were able to ignore him without any problems. And Jake wasn’t being too talkative or apologetic, which was a plus. But he was noticeably less hostile toward you as the time went by. Showing that he was taking the truce quite seriously and keeping his end of the bargain.

In other words, the truce was possibly the best option for you both. You could work in peace without being hammered or interrogated. And Jake would continue his visits without any problems.

You still didn’t like him. And you were sure the feelings were mutual.

But things were becoming easier.

And sometimes you like easy. Just as much as a challenge.

There was a part of him that was curious. Jake didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand Neytiri’s easy trust in you but it only made him more curious as he kept coming to see the baby.

Of course, you were guarded and curt around him. And he was quite the same but that didn’t mean he wasn’t at least a little bit interested in why you were so important to their deity.

So many questions.

A part of him wanted to ask Eywa himself—he wasn’t much used to praying to her but he would now and then out of respect for the People. If he asked, he would possibly gain an answer—which was incredibly rare—or he would gain more questions, which was the more common response.

So, Jake took to finding things out for himself. Even if it meant doing it the hard way. Even if it meant getting his head out of his ass and finally putting things into perspective.

Jake Sully was willing to at least keep this tolerable relationship with you going. Keeping this stable cord steady. You weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. It was time he had to get used to it. It was time for him to get over himself.

And he was willing to show that he did want something different. That he was ready to change, to finally understand you in a way.

But you still didn’t like him. Which was fine.

He didn’t like himself all that much either.

Another week went by and Neytiri still hadn’t come back. Surprisingly, you found yourself missing her. And when you began missing others, you got angry.

Since you didn’t feel like going through that process again, you resolved yourself to thinking that she must’ve gotten busy with her clan. Or grown tired of watching over you and your depressing personality once she realized that you weren’t a threat to her clan.

That must’ve been it. That’s what you chose to believe at that moment.

One day at a time.

You moved forward. Because you had to.

Throughout the week you focused on your work tending to the garden, checking on the baby, and even taking on more responsibilities around Hell’s Gate.

Sometimes you’d help Dr. Patel in the bio labs, other times you went with the other avatars to train your body. There were also days you would help Norm pack different human items he’d usually bring for the Na’vi children of the Omatikaya Clan. You, of course, never ventured too close to their territory whenever you went with him to drop off the items. You’d either stay in the ship you flew in or stay at the base as he left on his own.

Jake still kept coming around but his time there became shorter and shorter with each visit. Again, you didn’t bat an eye. You welcomed it and continued with your work.

Toward the end of your busy and long week, you woke up with a start when a blaring sound struck your room. It had to have been the middle of the night as you looked around frantically, only to realize the sound was coming from your tablet.

Quickly, you grabbed it to find the alarm was the system alerting you something was wrong.

And the problem was coming from the tank room.

You stumbled out of your bedroom and dashed through the long halls until you finally ended up in the tank room. Not caring that you were probably making a bunch of noise in the process.

When you got to Augustine’s tank, your heart sank when you found Grace’s avatar was violently twitching with the lights inside of the tank blaring a red.

“Fuck!” You hissed as you immediately checked for the problem.

The first thing you checked was the avatar itself. Her heart and the baby’s were fine but the avatar’s was slightly elevated, probably in response to whatever was happening to the machine which was the next thing you began to check.

There you discovered that something in it was malfunctioning. Throwing the liquid temperature off, the placentiums weren’t giving any more nutrients like they were supposed to. Whatever was going on, you didn’t have time to fix it or the machine.

If you wasted time like that more damage could be done and you weren’t going to risk that. Especially when the baby was in there. Especially when the baby could receive the worst of your mistake. Of this malfunction.

So, you worked fast.

You searched the room for an empty tank—which you were able to find and rolled it over next to the one Dr. Augustine’s avatar was in. You pulled the empty tank open just as Norm and a few other scientists entered.

“What happened?!” Norm questioned hastily.

Quickly, you jumped down from the empty tank and rushed toward Grace’s, “It’s malfunctioning. I don’t know why but we have to move her.”

Thankfully, Norm didn’t ask any more questions. He ordered the other scientists to help you.

You worked quickly. Draining the rest of the liquid from the tank, carefully moving the avatar—this required multiple hands—until you placed it in the new tank.

“Track her heart rate.” You ordered one of them.

A second later, a woman responded, “Stable but its body temperature’s dropping fast.”

By the time she said that you closed the tank. “Norm, fill it up.”

You jumped down, grabbed the heart monitor from the female scientist, and watched the lines closely. The tank was nearly filled up as Norm came up beside you.

Along with the heart monitor, your heart pounded through your ears as the tank finally filled up. You gave the monitor to Norm and went to adjust the temperature back to the usual settings.

When the blue lights came on it felt as if the room breathed a huge sigh of relief. You took the monitor back as Norm hummed, “Lucky you were the one to get here first. And quick thinking too—do you know what went wrong with the other one?”

The rest of the scientists poured out of the room as you slowly shook your head. “I don’t know. I couldn’t waste time, Spellman. Not when it could’ve risked the baby.”

Norm nodded and patted your shoulder, “You’re right. Good work, Doc.” He moved to the other side of the tank with a thoughtful expression. “You want me to stay and help with anything else?”

The lines on the monitor were stable, which brought you some sense of comfort. And yet the slight panic remained. “No, no. I’m good here. You can go back to bed. I’ll finish up here soon.”

“Okay.” Norm eventually moved toward the exit. “Get some sleep, Reeds. I’m serious.”

You nodded without looking at him. “Yeah, sure. Goodnight.”

“Good morning.” Norm corrected with a tired grin.

With that, Norm left. You breathed in a steady breath before grabbing a chair from the corner of the lab and sinking onto it. The monitor was kept nearby, the heart rate melodic in your ears as you set your tablet down on your lap.

For a while, you studied how far along the avatar was. It had been a good couple of months since you first discovered the child—which left her at about twenty-four to twenty-seven weeks at least. That’s not even counting when she first got pregnant. But compared to a human, the Na’vi pregnancy went by a lot faster, which also confirmed your theory.

Or maybe your perception of time was fucked up with how distracted and busy you had been.

Was that why the malfunction happened? Were you too distracted to notice any faults in the system during your usual sessions? What did happen?

You contemplated this for a while. Until your mind became hazy and your eyes droopy. At some point, you fell asleep next to the tank because there was no way you would leave the fetus’ side at that point. Not after all of that.

It felt as if your eyes had been closed for only a couple of seconds before you were suddenly jolted awake to find Norm standing over you.

“What happened? Is it the tank again?” You instantly asked, turning to check on the tank.

“No, no, no—the—she’s fine!” Norm quickly assured while easing you back into your chair. “I thought I told you to get some sleep.”

You stared at him for a beat, both a tired and an annoyed expression easily falling upon your face. “Well, I assure you I certainly wasn’t sitting with my eyes closed just then.”

Norm winced, “Sorry. I thought you’d want to get in your own bed before Jake gets here.” He rubbed the back of his neck as you got up from the chair. “I had to tell him what happened—he’s flying over now.”

“That’s fine.” You grumbled. “I can stand just one day in the same room with him. Besides, I should probably figure out what went wrong with that tank.”

Norm nodded, “Okay—uh, should I be a mediator for the both of you or..?”

“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like I’m meeting their clan leader.”

“You really need to try and get along with him.” Norm chuckled with a shake of his head.

You scowled, “Are you going to keep yapping in my ear about it or be useful?”

“Alright, alright, don’t an ass.” He strolled toward the doorway. “Jake’ll be here in fifteen.”

Once he left, you got to work again. You weren’t an official engineer but you knew a good amount of information from your training back on Earth. You hoisted yourself up and into the tank before you began taking it apart. You stood in it, trying to find out what exactly had gone wrong—while glancing at the heart monitor now and then.

Your brain was moving quickly yet hazily from the sleep. Eyes honed in on the mess of wires in front of you. So distracted by your silent questions and theories that you didn’t hear the incoming footsteps. Only the voice that followed after.

“What happened? Is she okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine.” You replied immediately, watching in the corner of your eye as he approached the new tank. His hair was tied back and across his chest was a leather strap that carried what looked like a machete. “It was just a malfunction with the tank. We were able to get her out before any real damage could be done.”

Jake frowned, “Malfunction? How the hell did you let that happen?!”

“Look, I don’t know.” You replied calmly, ignoring the twitch in your jaw. “I’m still trying to figure all that out. But she’s out of it and fine. Norm helped if that makes you feel better—”

“I thought you had things handled? What happened to that?” Jake scowled, his tone vicious.

“I do.”

“Then what the hell happened—”

“I already said I don’t know!” You seethed, glaring down at the group of wires now hanging from your hands. Somewhere in the back of your brain, you realized that Norm really did have to stand between the two of you. That this truce wasn’t stable enough. That the two of them were just too explosive. “The hell do you think I’m trying to do? Kill the baby?!”

You missed the way Jake’s face faltered slightly, catching himself. “No…No, that’s not what I—”

“Then get off my fucking dick!” You snapped, throwing a piece of the tank to the floor with a clatter.

All sound was gone from the room then.

This was the last thing you wanted to deal with. Being scolded like some child—like you already weren’t beating yourself up over this mess.

You sunk onto the floor of the tank and continued working. Because that’s what you were best at. Not conversations. Not people. Not love.

Work. It was everything to you.

Already you were mentally drowning Jake out, ignoring the fact that there was another person in the room with you. But eventually, you realized that there was nothing wrong with the wires. It must’ve been something else. Another theory down the drain.

Jake uttered your name at one point. And you ignored him.

There was a sigh followed by a short pause before he spoke, “I’m sorry.” You continued ignoring him. There was something about his apologies. You were just tired of them. “That wasn’t fair, you’re right. I shouldn’t have come at you like that—”

“Augustine’s avatar is over there.” You mumbled. “You can check on her yourself.”

There was another silence but you were too focused on what was in front of you to notice or care. You were so determined to ignore him and the sting in the corners of your eyes.

You didn’t like to cry. Especially in front of others.

Thankfully, you ignored him long enough until you realized you were finally alone.

After a while, you breathed out a tired sigh.

Fortunately, as the days went by there were no other problems with the new tank or baby, but it didn’t stop you from always double-checking everything after that close call. So much so that you didn’t realize how much sleep you were missing until Norm pulled you away from your work and forced you back into your room. Locked the door and everything just to make his point.

With the promise of Norm taking care of your work, you eventually allowed yourself to sleep for practically the entire day. Not without the tablet on the dresser next to your bed of course.

Even after catching up on some semblance of sleep, Norm still didn’t let you get back to your schedule right away. Which irritated you of course.

“I don’t want you in my garden, Spellman.”

He rolled his eyes, “And I don’t want you stressing yourself out. As your friend and colleague who happens to care about your well-being, I demand you stay away from the garden until you’re completely rested.”

You frowned at him, “We’re friends?”

“Shut up and accept my love.”

And he kept true to his word. Norm kept you away from the gardens, even the tank room. And made sure that the scientists knew how to keep you away as well. He covered all of his bases.

Damn him.

You couldn’t sit around and do nothing though. So, at some point you were so desperate you resorted to practically begging Norm to just give you something to do that would distract you throughout the whole day. You nagged and nagged and nagged until Norm finally gave in.

“There’s an old link shack north of Hell’s Gate. We’ve been thinking about restoring all of them around the area. But that particular shack’s connection is a little wonky. Maybe you could head over and restock the supplies with your avatar. Maybe even fix the connection while you’re at it.”

You nodded quickly, “Yeah, sure thing. I’ll get on that—”

“And don’t try to sneak your way to the gardens!” Norm added sternly, sending you a look over his shoulder while clicking away at his computer. “Plus, you won’t need the Samson ships. The shack’s not too far from here.”

With that, you went to grab supplies, such as med kits, weapons—one gun and a few stacks of ammo—blankets, Na’vi weapons, a hunting knife, and a bow with a few arrows. You kept the hunting knife to yourself just in case.

After getting all of this, you placed the bag of supplies in the compound longhouse where your avatar always slept when you weren’t linked. Once you got to your link bed and linked up with your avatar, you grabbed the hunting knife and the bag of supplies before taking off north from Hell’s Gate.

The sky was grey today with a few darker clouds on the horizon instead of the shimmering blue you were used to. A storm might’ve been coming.

Which meant you had to make this trip quick. There was no telling how bad these storms could get on this planet.

Similar to how you traveled through the forest with Neytiri, you took to the trees so that you’d have less of a chance of running into or disturbing any of Pandora’s finest. Hopefully, you had learned to be quiet enough to not draw any attention your way as well.

As time went by, the sky got darker. You followed the coordinates Norm gave you while slipping through the trees like the true shadow you were. Traveling and climbing through the trees got easier as you went. You had done it enough times with Neytiri that you knew what to do and how to do it. Albeit not perfectly, but enough to get by. Blending into the environment as best as you could.

You enjoyed it, the vibrant life and colors of the forest once again. Every time felt like you were taking in Pandora for the very first time. Every time felt like a huge breath of the freshest air. Here, you were weightless. You weren’t a scientist. You weren’t human. You weren’t an avatar. You were just were.

You existed here. You were real.

Truly this place was everything you dreamed of when you were younger.

Rain began to pour by the time you spotted the shack. It was propped up and well hidden in a large tree, with moss growing out of the sides, the entire thing looking like it hadn’t been used in a long time.

You slid down from a branch as quietly as you could and landed in front of the metal entrance. By the time you got the door open and crouched inside, you were soaking wet from the rain.

The shack itself wasn’t too small, which surprised you. It must’ve been made to allow avatars to be able to roam freely through here without too much trouble.

Once the door was closed, you sunk onto the empty cot in the corner of the shack and began unpacking the supplies. The med kit went into the cabinets above a wooden table attached to the wall. The blankets went on the cot. The gun and ammo went under the cot in a long black case filled with old and rusted weapons you had to throw out into the rain. You kept the hunting knife tucked in your shorts.

The rain kept going. It was relaxing. Stopping for a moment to listen. Smelling it through the cracked window next to the cot you sat on.

It was nice. You could stay here if you wanted. This could’ve been your new home if you didn’t have responsibilities at Hell’s Gate.

Lastly, you worked on the radio that sat on the wooden table—which you assumed was connected to the main base. So, for the next few minutes, you took your time messing with the radio. Listening to either ongoing static or barely audible voices going in and out. At some point, you messed with the wires a few times before Norm’s voice finally came through.

“Tomato. Tomato. Tomato.”

You pressed one of the buttons, “Hey, Norm.”

“Oh, Jesus! Reeds!” Norm startled. “Warn a guy next time!”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, “I just wanted to test if it worked. Clearly, I fixed it.”

A snap of thunder drew you away from the radio. Seemed like it was getting worse out there. You hadn’t realized how long you’d been out there until now.

Norm seemed to realize this too, “You gonna stay there and unlink?”

“Mmm.” You paused. “I’m gonna try bringing the avatar back.”

He sighed, “Alright, good luck.”

“Don’t need it.” You said as you got up. “I’m too awesome.”

“Whatever, Reeds.”

Another clap of thunder filled the air as you stepped out of the shack. Immediately you were soaked by how heavy the rain was.

Thunder continued to boom, making your skin jump every now and then. It was just terribly cold, making you start to run so that you could get out of it faster.

You ran and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, only to realize just how much noise you were making and that the area was too unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t long until you realized how lost you were. It was just too dark to navigate your way back or recognize any familiar spots guiding your way.

With that in mind, you went toward the nearest tree and began to climb.

But your body was yanked away from the tree bark almost instantly as you were tackled down to the ground by a large weight. Your left shoulder exploded with vicious pain as if a bunch of sharp knives buried itself into your skin and continued to tear through it.

A strangled scream left your lips as the thunder clapped in the sky once more. You could barely see the creature but it was a dark, large beast. Digging further into your shoulder.

You hadn’t even seen it coming. You hadn’t been paying attention.

Now…

Now you might die because of it.

You tried shoving at it, managing to get most of its weight off of you. But the teeth were still in your shoulder. There was still pain. There was still warm liquid dripping down your arm.

When you moved your leg, you remembered the hunting knife in your shorts. Immediately, you dug into your pocket and found the handle instantly.

After that, you didn’t waste any time stabbing at it blindly and desperately. You did this, you kept going until more warm liquid covered your knife-wielding arm. You did this until the animal was limp against your body. Until you were able to push it off and scramble to your feet and run.

The pain was awful but bearable enough for you to run back to the shack at least. Mud was all over your clothes—some of it in your mouth. If anything, you probably looked insane right now.

You ran. Ran. Ran. Ran. Ran. Way too clumsy to be quiet. What’s worse was you had no clue where you were. And there was more shuffling coming from the bushes and trees surrounding you. If anything, you were probably throwing yourself further into the lion’s den.

It wasn’t long until a black creature suddenly came out of the bushes in front of you, causing you to stumble to a stop as it made its way toward you. Sleek and dangerous. Eyes locked on you.

Thunder boomed again. An identical creature came out from your right. Another on your left. Another. And another. And another.

Until you were surrounded. Until you knew there was no way you were going to make it out of this.

You kept your knife in front of you, trying to ignore the pain in your shoulder, the warm liquid running down your arm, the shakiness in your legs. You began to wonder how much blood you were losing with your energy slowly dwindling as time went by—no, it didn’t matter.

Damn it, you weren’t going to die here! Not like this.

“Come on!” You hissed as you pointed the knife at them. “Come on!”

They growled at you, closing in. Finally, one of them pounced toward you. With the knife, you slashed at it. At that, the creature cringed away and missed you entirely but that didn’t mean the others were going to try their luck.

Out of instinct, you stumbled back as two more tried coming for you. Your back hit a tree as you yelled and swung your knife wildly at them.

Only neither the creature nor your blow landed.

The two creatures were thrown to the side as another clap of thunder struck your ears.

Another figure emerged from the trees and rushed toward you.

Instantly, you swung the knife, only for it to be caught in an iron grip.

You screamed.

“Hey, hey, easy!”

It took you only a couple of moments for you to register the words and that they were coming from a familiar avatar. The last person you ever expected to be here.

Jake lowered your arm with a hiss. You blinked as another round of thunder rattled your ears.

The creatures were closing in again. Jake turned his back to you, hissing at them. His larger arm stretched in front of you protectively when one of them got a little too close for his liking. The creature hissed back

You watched warily behind him, still clutching the dirtied knife. Both of you exhausted and animalistic. Yellow eyes glimmering. One with warning and the other with desperation.

Jake looked terrifying in this light. Just as murderous and dangerous as the animals that surrounded you.

You remained behind him, trembling but glaring. Gripping that knife like your life depended on it.

There was suddenly more shuffling, more thunder, and the creatures then scattered.

You, dumbfounded by this, spoke shakily, “Why did they—”

Jake grabbed your wrist holding the knife.

“We need to move.” He said, dragging you forward.

The two of you ran in the opposite direction of the creatures. He hauled you up a tree before climbing up himself. “Is there a link shack nearby?”

For a moment, you wondered how he knew about the link shacks. You leaned on a branch both to catch your breath and because the quick movements left you a bit dizzy. When you couldn’t come up with plausible answers to your silent question you instead said, “I just came back from one. North from here—I don’t know how far it is.”

Your body leaned a little too far. Jake was quick to grab you in his stronger, more stable arms as he pulled you away from falling off the edge, “Hey, hey, Reeds, I need you here with me, okay? Just stay awake long enough until we get to the shack and we’ll clean you up.”

“I’ve...I’m losing a lot of…” Blood. Blood was what you wanted to say. But the adrenalin was wearing out. Your shoulder throbbed horribly. Exhaustion weighed you down and placed inconvenient black spots in your vision.

“I know.” He draped your good arm over his shoulder and kept you upright. “I know, we’ll get there. I promise.”

There was no arguing with him. You were soaked to the bone and in a hell of a lot of pain. Going back to the shack was your best bet in this horrid weather.

Jake continued to support your weight as the two of you followed the same coordinates leading back to the shack—or rather you haze inaudible directions of what you could remember from the information Norm had given you while Jake haphazardly followed.

Thankfully, the rest of the way wasn’t a long journey. Or maybe you just kept blacking in and out along the way, you didn’t know.

Jake and you stumbled through the door of the shack. He closed the door while you made your way to the radio with whatever strength you had left.

“Norm.” You tapped the radio while wincing. The pain in your shoulder was getting worse. Before now you had been tolerating it. “Norm, can you hear me?”

The static went on.

“Storm must be messing with the signal,” Jake said from behind you as he rummaged through the shack. “We should stay here until the storm settles—”

You rested your head against the small table, the rest of his words becoming nothing but muffled noise to your ears. God, you’ve lost so much blood. And you were so tired.

For a moment, just for a few seconds, you wanted to sleep. Only for a moment.

“Reeds.”

A larger hand rested on the back of your neck, bringing you slightly out of your unconsciousness.

Jake kept calling your name. “Hey, where’s the med kits at? We need to work on your arm, okay? And I need you to stay awake. Can’t have you unlinking in this condition.”

Sluggishly, you nodded, “They’re in the cabinets.”

More thunder rolled by. Jake left your side briefly to search through the cabinets above you. You leaned back in your seat, staring bleakly up at the ceiling.

“How long do these storms last?” You asked.

The thunder responded with a clap.

sorry for the long wait! hopefully it was all worth the wait. another 8k chapter, yay, that wasn't difficult to write at all lol! but now jake and reeds are alone in a shack. anything could happen....

(i'm not adding anymore people anymore!)

taglist: @doggyteam2028 @bigbootahjudy @innercreationflower @n7cje @celi-xxmoon @readerofallthingss @sillyblues @squirtlebob @saturnhas82moons @1mawh0re @aprosiacperson @loserwithnofriends @garfieldsladybird @slutforsmut4ever @lik0

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55sturn · 9 months ago

Text

✮ SWALLOWIN’ MY PRIDE

series masterlist!

pairing: boston bruins player!chris sturniolo x fem!reader!

synopsis: in which chris is forced to swallow his pride as he comes to terms with the new that y/n has shared, realizing it’s not just her fault. however when he mentions the alternatives, he fails to see how much it hurts his girlfriend.

warnings: swearing, angst, chris not wanting a kid, verbal arguments, big talks about abortions and giving the kid up for adoption, mentions and descriptions of vomiting, a loooot of angst tbh.

important things to note: this is a heavy chapter so please keep that in mind if you choose to keep reading, i’ve done my part and have warned you about what this chapter entails so please do yours and close out of this fic if you cannot handle those topics. i am not your mother i cannot stop you, but if you choose to keep going despite being uncomfortable with the things i’ve warned you about, you are not allowed to get upset with anyone but yourself. enjoy<3

THIRD PERSON POV

chris was left utterly speechless as he stared at the thin plastic stick in his hand. the only thing running through his mind, was “what am i going to do? i just signed the contract today?” he felt guilty being so absorbed in his doubts about his career but it was something he had worked for his entire life. he knew his concerns were selfish, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop worrying about them.

the words “we’re pregnant, chris.” rang in his ears like a bell chiming, he felt his breath get stuck in his throat and he wasn’t able to breathe. he quickly shifted y/n off his lap so he could begin pacing, he held his head in his hands as his skates clunked against the padded locker room floor.

“what the fuck are we going to do y/n?” chris spits, his voice broken and unsteady as he looks at his girlfriend, her eyes red with unshed tears as she shook her head softly and shrugged.

“i don’t know chris.”

“why weren’t you careful?” chris exclaims, unintentionally putting all the blame on her as her head snaps up, her brows furrowed tightly as she breathes out a listless laugh.

“how is this all my fault?”

“i’m not saying it’s your fault. but why didn’t you just get an abortion?”

“in case you forgot what you were taught in fifth grade health class, it takes two people to make a baby, chris. you were the one that wanted to hit it raw and you promised to pull out but clearly you didn’t. and i didn’t want to abort it without your input because this child is half of you, too. and i would not be able to sit through that alone!“ she scoffs, tears dripping down her cheeks as she stares up at him, guilt and regret chipping away at the slight glimmer of hope that chris would be okay with it that she held.

“i just signed a good contract baby, i can’t miss my games for this shit.” chris sighs, his heart rate slowing down, but his mind was still racing, leaving him blind to the internal battle his girlfriend was facing.

he felt sick, he had everything mapped out for the next five years and this baby completely threw a wrench in everything that he had meticulously planned. there was no way a baby this early in his career would look good, it’d make him look reckless and uncaring about his job.

“do you not think i’ve been thinking about that, chris? that’s the only thing i’ve been thinking about since i found out or even had the slightest idea i was pregnant, i have been terrified of derailing the life plans you’ve set up for yourself and i don’t know what the fuck to do but what i do know, is that we’re pregnant and we have to make a decision about this. so until you’ve processed this, you can stay with one of your brothers, i will be waiting at home.” y/n replies, her voice gradually getting quieter and breaking even more as she finishes. wiping her tears, she quickly exists the room, the need to vomit overcoming her.

her mind wouldn’t stop racing. it brought every possible scenario to the surface and she was beyond scared. what was she going to do? chris sure as hell didn’t seem to want the baby, and she thought she didn’t either but talking about it to chris had her realizing that she wants a family more than anything.

as she knelt in front of the toilet, she couldn’t help but laugh internally. finding out you’re expecting a child was supposed to be a joyous and happy time. finding out that you’re carrying a life that is half of yourself and the person you’re in love with, the person you’re fully committed to for life, was supposed to have you feeling over the moon. and instead, it had y/n’s stomach twisting with guilt, regret, heartache, and distress.

ash she wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, she sat on the edge of it, letting her tears fall as she let the feelings of hopelessness and loss fully consume her heart. would she really see this pregnancy to term if chris didn’t want anything to do with her and the baby? if she did, would she let chris back into her life when he decides he wants a family? or would he seek a family somewhere else?

“how the fuck am i going to survive this without him?” she whispered to herself, quickly exiting the public washroom and making a beeline for the front entrance.

chris on the other hand, was stoic as he stared at the wall opposite of him, the thin plastic stick beside him taunting him and his mind, almost as if it was telling him that he was acting selfishly. instead of comforting his girlfriend, who was as equally terrified of their recent news as chris, if not more? he blamed her. he yelled at her.

he callously told her to abort their baby to be. to get rid of the life growing inside her as if it meant nothing. as if it wasn’t the product of two people that loved each other deeply. even if it wasn’t planned or considered, that child to be was still the result of chris and y/n’s love. of the fact that they held each other so closely that they made love without any preventative measures. but chris couldn’t look at it that way, he didn’t want to.

his focus was on his career, hockey was everything to him. it made him everything he is. but was hockey really the only thing that mattered to chris? as he mulled over the answer, images of y/n sobbing as she held the freshly positive test, of her sobbing and scared in front of him waiting for him to pull her into his arms in the middle of that locker room flash through his mind. he felt guilty, he hadn’t even hugged her as she sobbed, he so badly wishes he could rewind the clock a few minutes so he could react differently but he couldn’t.

he knew he wanted a family at some point in his life, but now? it was so early. he wanted to bask in all the glory of being the newest and youngest star on the bruins without the responsibilities of his personal life hanging over his head. but that wasn’t possible.

as his team made their way down the hall, chris shoved the test into the side pocket of his hockey bag and plastered a fake smile on his face. the team cheered and hollered as they had won the game. chris joined in on the festivities, briefly forgetting the decision he had to make as the team got dressed in their suits and dress clothes, deciding to hit the bar in the lounge above the rink nd celebrate their win and landing bracket in the playoffs.

y/n was in the complete opposite state, she sat at the table, the meal she had prepped hours ago as soon as she got home after leaving the game early sat on the table in front of her. it had grown cold and stale as she tried to bring the urge to eat to life but she couldn’t bear the thought of choking back her food. she hated eating without chris. she knew he wasn’t going to join her after she told him to stay with one his brothers, but out of pure muscle memory she made a plate for him and it sat across the table from her, taunting her, as if to say “this is what your future will look like if chris decides he doesn’t want the baby.” and it broke her heart into a million shards.

could she really handle a life without him? they’ve been together for so long as it is. was it worth it to go through everything that they have already, just for a child to tear them apart? she didn’t know the answer to that and she didn’t want to. she hoped that somehow, chris’ mind would change and he would have this great epiphany and realize he wants this, the family life with y/n.

she knew how important this spot on the bruins’ team was to chris, she knew that more than anybody else. but was it more important than a life with the woman he called his soulmate? was his career more important to him than his relationship?

y/n, truthfully, had began to believe it was. he would call off dates and anniversary dinners to go hang out with the team, he would come home late the nights he promised to be home early. he put so much of their time together on the back burner, and maybe this child was the wake-up call she needed. maybe she wasn’t cut out for the life of dating a superstar hockey player.

sighing, she cleared the plates off, putting the leftovers in an air-tight container and leaving them for her or, hopefully, chris to eat another day. she quickly loaded the dishwasher and started it before cleaning the rest of the kitchen. as she had finished, she flicked off the main kitchen light, leaving the light above the stove on so that when chris came home, if he had made up his mind yet, he wouldn’t be surrounded by complete darkness. but she knew in the back of her mind, chris coming home tonight was just wishful thinking.

as she laid in bed, she scrolled through instagram, chris’ story updates catching her eye. pressing down on his profile circle surrounded by a pinkish purple ring, she was met with the sight of chris and john shot gunning beer in their suits, leaving her slightly hurt that instead of talking about things with her or his brothers he chose to party with his team. she knew that making an appearance at the after parties was important, she had just hoped their situation was more important. but refusing to let herself dwell on what she meant to chris, she rolled over and willed herself to sleep.

it had been a few days since her confession to chris and she had yet to hear even just a single word from him. and the silence was killing her. after her doctors appointment, which confirmed that she was in fact two months along, she had received texts of congratulations and more from his family so she assumed he had said something and maybe he wasn’t completely ashamed of what was happening, but she had a gnawing feeling of doubt in her stomach telling her that wasn’t the case.

“matt i don’t know what to think.” chris sighed, looking to his more level-headed brother for advice in this situation.

“well chris, do you really want her to abort it? like can you live with the fact that you’re putting her through that, you know that she’s completely all for it, but it’s different when it’s the one going through it. so would you be able to live with the fact that you’re pushing her to take away this chance, both of yours and hers, at a family right now?”

“well when you put it that way-“

“and who’s to say that you won’t be looking at having a family the same way down the line if, let’s say, she aborts the baby now and this entire thing happens again? would you put her through it twice? when you could just as easily implement all the later plans with your career that included a family into your plans for now. it would be much easier to maneuver things around right because the ink on your contract has barely dried yet. you do it later down the line and shit could go up in flames. but if you’re still dead set on pushing her to an abortion, by all means do it. it’s up to you man but from the way you’ve talk about it, y/n wants to have a family so what you’re doing is most likely killing her, and if you pushing her to do this wrecks your relationship, you won’t find another girl to love you the way she does. and i know you didn’t actually ask for it, but my opinion is that you’re being a fucking idiot. you and i both know that all you’ve wanted with y/n is to raise a family. you talked about your future kids’ names with her two months into the start of your relationship. so i’m not sure why you’re doing all this shit, chris.” matt rambled, his words cutting directly into the flesh of chris’ heart, he knew matt was right. every word he spoke nothing but truth clinging to it. so why was he putting both him and y/n, mainly y/n, through all of this? sighing, chris nodded and thanked him for the advice before plucking his keys off the counter of matt’s kitchen before heading out the door and climbing into his car.

chris made quick work of driving home to y/n, he felt so unbelievably guilty for leaving her alone with her thoughts for as long as he had. as he stepped into their shared home, he felt like an intruder, he didn’t feel like himself, because in what world would chris, the same chris who is so unbelievably and irrevocably in love with y/n, push her to terminate their child? chris should’ve been ecstatic and sobbing over the news. instead he let his job cloud his judgement and focus, and he felt terrible.

“baby?” chris calls out, quickly climbing the entryway stairs and standing in the main hallway, waiting for y/n to answer.

“in here.” she calls back, her voice tired and strained from all the crying she had done. as chris rounds the corner into their room, his heart breaks at the sight of her curled up on his side of the bed in his hoodie.

“i am so sorry y/n, i’ve been an asshole.”

“i’ll say.” she whispers, shifting back to her side of the bed as chris climbs in beside her.

“i want to apologize for blaming you, it’s not your fault. and for suggesting an abortion without actually hearing what you want. if you want one, i’ll support you. i talked to matt and he made me realize what a jackass i’ve been. if you genuinely want this baby, then i do too. i love you, and i want you to be safe and happy. and if having a family makes you happy, then i’m willing to raise this baby with you because in all honesty, i do want this baby.”

“what about your career?”

“we’ll figure that out when we need to.”

“okay. i love you.”

“i love you forever and a day, y/n. i’m so sorry i’ve been so shitty, i was scared and lashed out on you when i should’ve acknowledged that you were scared too, i shouldn’t have let you deal with it on your own.” chris hums, wrapping his arms around her as she dries her tears and rest her head against his chest.

taglist: @dylsdunbar @verosivy @soursturniolo @4sturns @sturnsclutter @spencerstits @meanttomeet @bluesturniolo333 @graciereid @abbie13sworld @ghostofbrock @l9vesick @mylifeisevenstranger @bethsturn @ifilwtmfc @themattgirl @lovingmattysposts @lacysturniolo @freshsturns @forevergirlposts @sturniolo-fav-matt @cupidsword @strawberrysturniolo @lustfulslxt @sturnifyed @carolsturns1 @teapartyprincess4two @mangosrar @querenciasturniolo @pinklittleflower @cutenote @ellie-luvsfics @strniolo @junnniiieee07 @33sturniolo @heartz4chris @hearts4chris @evie-sturns @nicksmainbitch @gnxosblog @sturniolopepsi

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cheapshrimpysheep · 1 year ago

Note

Ohh! I loved the ‘you dance with another demon’ request for the demon brothers! Would You consider doing one for the dateables as well?

COMMENTS: Of course 😊 For those who want to read the first version with the demon brothers: Dancing with Another Demon - Demon Brothers.

Meanwhile I also had a cute idea for Luke. This one is platonic of course, and cuter.

I hope you and all enjoy 😉

CHARACTERS: Side Characters (Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon & Luke)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Headcanons

WORD COUNT: An average of 250 words per character.

CONTEXT: They weren't yet present when this other demon asked you to dance. Especially because with the presence of some of them, the other demons wouldn't even have the courage to approach you.

The demon asked you in a very polite way, so you ended up accepting.

When they/he finally arrives, he looks for you and see you dancing with this other demon.

In fact, it takes a lot of courage, or a boldness, to invite you to dance, taking advantage of the fact that the Future King of the Devildom was not present.

Fortunately for this demon, Diavolo is not one to get jealous easily. When he arrives and sees you dancing, he even laughs to himself. “Oh my. I think I forgot how charming and attractive (Y/N) can be.” It just shows him how perfect you would be to be next to him on the throne.

Barbatos asks if he should stop your dancing, but Diavolo says no. That would be impolite and you looked like you were enjoying yourself. The two are hidden from the public for now.

The music ends, the demon bows to thank you and before he can say anything more to you, maybe try to flirt with you a bit, Diavolo appears and draws the attention to himself.

While he thanks the people present and everything, Barbatos looks directly at the demon that was dancing with you without you noticing. Which frightens him and he starts to walk away from you.

And right after, Diavolo talks about you, thanks you for your presence and such, and at the end of the speech he announces that he will dance with you. And he starts walking towards you.

People move away, creating a corridor between him and you. When he gets in front of you he bows to you. “Will you grant me this dance, my dearest?”

You will stay by his side for the rest of the night, since now, you are the future king's royal companion.

Barbatos is also not one to get jealous easily. Since he wouldn't love someone he can't 150% trust. What he's not a big fan of is some demons even having the daring to ask you for something like a slow dance.

Being a butler, he knows a few things about balls. And one of them is "politely stealing" someone else's dance partner.

You were dancing with this other demon, until you spin around and a hand gently pulls you towards him. When you realize it, you were now dancing with Barbatos.

The other demon stands still for a second, not quite understanding how that happened. And that's when Barbatos gives you a creepy smirk, warning him to go away before he decides so get some little revenge.

Barbatos is too discreet, so you just noticed that the other demon was gone and Barbatos was acting like he never even existed. You ask him what just happened.

“Nothing worth worrying about, I assure you.” he tells you with a gentle smile. “And allow me tell you that you look particularly magnificent today.”

As a butler, he has duties and can't spend a lot of time with you. However, if you want, he has arranged the most comfortable place for you to relax in the moments when he cannot be with you. “And remember, like every other guest at this ball, I am here to serve you. But, like at any other ball, you are the special guest that must be prioritized by me.” and he winks at you.

He knows that he shouldn't, but Simeon can't help but feel a slight discomfort in his stomach at the sight of you dancing with a demon he doesn't even know.

And of course he doesn't want to be so rude as to interrupt you, especially seeing that you're actually enjoying yourself. So he waits until the end of the song.

As soon as that happens he starts approaching you. But the demon that danced with you won't go away. In fact, you even hear a muffled sound as if he has some sort of disgust with Simeon. You see Simeon and want to go to him, but you feel the demon pulling you back to him.

Now Simeon realizes that you are uncomfortable and reaches you two. “Good evening (Y/N). Would you grant me the next dance.” he says with a sweet smile.

The demon replies no for you, showing a complete lack of respect for Simeon and now, out of the blue, for you too. You make him let go of you and you show how upset you were about that.

You go to Simeon and he places himself between you and the demon. “I believe that now you can look for someone else to dance with.” He says smiling at the demon. However, that wasn't his usual smile, but the kind of smile that Lucifer himself prefers to avoid being directed at him.

The demon walks away, pretending he didn't because he really got scared. Simeon turns to you and asks if you were okay.

He will literally be your guardian angel all night long and won't leave your side.

Oh, Solomon IS a jealous man. And it's one thing to be dancing with someone he admires and respects, it's another to be dancing with a completely random demon. Who was he, anyway?

Well, well, well, what a coincidence. He was one of the 72 demons Solomon had a pact with. And when he realizes this, he smiles.

He leaves the room and a few seconds later the demon you're dancing with suddenly disappears in front of your very eyes. You look around confused and some of the other guests are looking at you and muttering to each other. You end up going into a corner. And none of the other demons get very close to you anymore.

A short time later Solomon re-enters the ballroom, looking for you and as soon as he sees you, he walks straight to you. He arrives smiling, but sees that you don't look very happy. “What's wrong my love? Didn't you like balls?” You say you do, but you tell them what happened and that now people look at you like it was you who made him disappear, like you were radioactive or something.

He laughs softly, and you look at him in annoyance. “I'm sorry. Maybe if I tell everyone that I was the one who did it, the ambience will be better for you?” You look at him in surprise. “But maybe it's not necessary. Some of those present may assume as much when they see me dancing with you. Speaking of which...” he bows to you and extends his hand “Would you grant me this dance?”

He won't leave you for the rest of the night. And he was right. After seeing him as your date, you started to feel the suspicious glances move towards him instead.

Why are you always surrounded by demons? I mean, Luke knows you all are in the Devildom, but still.

He arrived with Simeon and he was making that little sulky face, which made Simeons chuckle. And he suggests that Luke will ask you to dance when the current song ends. He was apprehensive at first, but then decided that yes, he was going to ask you to dance.

The song ends, you and the demon you were dancing with bow to each other in thanks for the dance. And you hear a familiar voice behind you calling your name shyly. “W-would you dance with me?” Luke was already blushing. He was so cute!

The demon starts to mock him, as if you were going to dance with a sample of an angel like that. But before he can even finish the second sentence you're already silently looking at him with knives in your eyes. He immediately shut his mouth and starts to walk away.

You turn back to Luke with a smile. Of course you would dance with him. You will see him smiling the whole time you are dancing together.

You'll probably spend the rest of the night with him and Simeon. The two of them “protecting” that little angel.

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

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tremendouscreationperson · 3 months ago

Text

Logan x Reader pt.11

Lads it's here

Wade's party

Can y'all believe it?

<<Part 10 Part 12>> Masterlist

Logan and Laura sat silently at your dining table.

It would be funny if it wasn't so scary.

Their faces were stony, both merely staring at the other.

It wasn't until Logan ran a hand through his hair - it needed a trim, it was getting long - and cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry.”

Laura nodded, biting the inside of her jaw. She was sorry too. She really hadn't meant what had happened. Hated herself for causing any sort of pain.

“I know I was shitty but I was scared.” He paused. “Which doesn't help because you were scared, too.”

She shrugged one shoulder.

“I love her, Laura.” He vowed. “I know you do, too. And I know you hate yourself but she doesn't blame you and neither do I.”

Laura's eyes watered, she quickly blunk the tears away.

“So again I'm sorry.” He held a hand out. “Do you accept my apology?”

She nodded and met his hand with a firm shake.

“Right, now we have to beat your mother at Monopoly, she's a wizard at that game.”

Wade did in fact hold his party off until Sunday, giving you an extra day to reassure Laura you were real.

Gambit had tackled you to the floor in a hug until Logan pulled the man off of you.

“Thou’we lo’ya, I ca’ ‘lieve yo’ alive! Thank heavens.” You frowned until it locked in and you nodded. Years of living with him making you fluent in Cajun, sometimes it took a moment but you understood.

“No, you'd never lose me!” You sat up and smiled.

Gambit was kneeling - having been hoisted up by his shirt like a kitten - giving you the widest grin. “I'm so ‘ppy, chere. Miss Laura was worried.”

You let him stand and help you to your feet. “She doesn't have to be now, I'm here.” Posing with your non-muscles, and dramatically declaring, “My body's strong, I can heal from anything!”

Blade had bowed his head when he saw you - slipping in to see what the commotion was - but you didn't let him get away with just that so you pulled him into a half hug.

“You alive?”

“I am.”

“Keep it that way.”

You scoffed. “It was definitely my intention.”

He rolled his eyes but patted your head. “I'm out, gotta finish my hunt before this famous ‘party’.”

One day you were going to force him to take you with him. You wanted to meet a vampire! Yes, technically, he was one but he wasn't! He was Blade. Your brother.

You let Blade leave and smiled at the rest of the room. Wade was on the phone making party arrangements whilst Al asked for more cocaine.

Laura was yet to make an appearance. She was a little embarrassed. These people had seen her at her worst. She needed time.

Gambit sat next to Al. She eased into him and began moaning about her roommate.

Mary Puppins twaddled towards you and you bent to pick her up. She was still wearing her dogpool outfit and you couldn't help but smile down at the ugly creature.

“Uh uh uh.” Wade was off of the phone shaking his head. “Maya forgot she existed so you're not allowed to hold her!”

“Wade, I have no idea who you're talking about.” You shook your head but let him snatch her from you.

Wade snuggled his face into her and made obscene kissy noises.

Logan raised a brow. “Seriously?”

“It's nothing compared to what we hear.” Wade smiles too wide and let his eyes shift between you two. “Where's babyrine?”

“She's going to come, I told her we were going to watch one of my favourite movies.”

“The Labyrinth is the best movie.” El announced walking through the door, her hair was wet from showering as she had just returned from the gym.

“I know right!” You agreed. “Let me text Laura that we're going to start soon.”

You'd finally received your phone. There were a few missed calls from Gambit, El and Blade but that was because of the confusion.

Y/N: were going to start the movie in 10 x

Laura: ok x

It was a good thing she decided she could speak through texting. At least this time you had a way to connect. Last time she was nonverbal was a struggle.

You and Logan sat on one sofa. Him resting his back against the arm and you laying your back on his chest. El sat next to Gambit, resting her feet on his legs.

Wade sighed at you all taking up his space but threw snacks at everyone before plonking himself down on the shag rug. Mary made a home on his back as he lay on his front.

“Oh my god, someone take a photo.”

You quickly snapped a few pics of them and sent them via WhatsApp to him. WhatsApp was just like texting except you used WiFi so it was free? You weren't sure but Wade had corralled you all into using the app.

Wade found the movie and inserted the DVD just as Laura crept in.

“Hey baby, come sit with us.”

She eyed Logan but did tiptoe over, he had been acting kind. He was nicer now. Not as angry.

She supposed she was too.

You were safe.

She was able to be with you again.

To have you as her mother again.

She wouldn't have handled your death well.

When she was within reach you pulled her wrist and made her sit on the sofa you were lounging on.

Laura eased back and rested her cheek on your chest, you stroked her hair.

“Okay we're ready. Press play!” You ordered Wade who was staring at Laura in disbelief. Mary Puppins had scooted over to her and jumped up and onto your stomach so Laura could pet her.

“I know you guys are 'healing' and whatever but fuck you all! That's my dog!”

“Shut up and play the movie.” Logan flipped him off.

“Mhmmm.” Al threw a cushion in his direction.

The movie was just as great now as it was then, except for Laura leaning on you. You forgot she had an Adamantium skeleton and were slowly being clamped down on but other than that you loved it. Your stomach was sore when the credits rolled.

“I don' kno’.” Gambit shrugged. “I think I would've stayed.”

“I know I would've.” El agreed.

“Yes.” You frantically nodded. “David Bowie offering me anything I want as long as I love him? Sign me up.”

Laura sat up, effortlessly hopping off to stretch her back and releasing the hold on your organs. She gave you a face and shook her head.

“No? Laura!” You chuckled. “You wouldn't stay?”

She shrugged.

“I wis’ my pants made m’ dick look like that.” Gambit hummed. “All big n’ sexy.”

“Well, it's really more of a curse than a blessing.” Wade shrugged. “I have to order in custom trousers.” He wiggled his red booty shorts.

“Is he revealing himself again?” Al shook her head. “Mother fucker doesn't know how many pillows I got.” Wade was currently in a nest of them due to her throwing.

“What about you, handsome?” You tilted your neck to find Logan's eyes were closed. “Bab-”

“No, don't wake him!” Wade whisper-yelled.

You looked back at the man who was positively giddy. Wade rushed off and came back with a Sharpie.

“We are all in this together, Wildcats.” Wade informed the group. “If I go down I am taking each and every one of you with me.”

He uncapped the lid and drew a very crude penis on Logan's forehead.

“All this hair makes it hard to graffiti him.”

Laura giggled as Wade stepped back. She gave a thumbs up on approval. El rolled her eyes whilst Gambit snapped a photo.

“Y/N, giv’ t’ dick a suck.” You snorted and poked your tongue out in the direction of his face.

“He is going to whoop all y'all asses.” Al chuckled as she heaved herself up. “Someone needs to film that for me, do a visual description and read it or turn it into braille.”

Today was the day.

You had washed, styled and readied yourself.

Putting on the lilac dress you'd brought, with white knee high socks and some slip on shoes. You hadn't thought to buy nicer shoes because you all lived in the same building. You didn't even need to wear shoes to his.

Logan had unfortunately taken the nails off but he was forgiven because as styled his now longer hair - in the same fashion he always did - his kitten ears were back!

He picked up a flannel shirt to throw on top of his vest and jeans. It was almost insulting that he didn't need to put any effort in to look that good.

You smirked up to him, giving him a quick peck and went to check on Laura.

She was half dressed in jeans looking at different bottoms and an array of shirts.

She turned to smile in acknowledgement when you entered her bedroom.

“Struggling to pick?”

She nodded.

It was hard. You knew it when you had a panic attack while shopping. Too many choices meant different variables, different outcomes.

You plucked up the nearest shirt - a small red thing - and an over layer - a denim button up vest - and handed it to her.

“I think that will match your jeans well. Wanna show me?”

She slipped into the materials and you were right. You hadn't even thought about it, just making a choice and half lying to help her.

She scanned the outfit in the floor length mirror before giving it a final nod.

The two of you met back up with Logan, who was already opening a beer bottle.

“Already?” You raised a brow.

“I know I'll need it.” He chuckled.

“Hmm.” Your eyes swept across the dining table. “Did you move one of my hotels?”

A half finished game of Monopoly was set up and you were dominating.

“Would I?”

“Yes, you would!” You patted his jeans pockets. “Where is it?”

“Laura, tell her I'm innocent.” He laughed at your attempt at a strip search.

“I will find it.”

Logan shook his head, taking another swig and hoped to god you didn't check in the fridge.

You'd counted the amount of them left so he couldn't just put it back in the box, no it was sitting in his beer carton.

Laura was smiling easily at the two of you. She liked watching you both so clearly in love.

It was beautiful to see you at ease, you had always worried over her and ensured she was alright. Seeing you truly happy was a godsend.

She hadn't particularly cared for Logan not since her Logan but he wore the man's face so she couldn't help but feel comfortable around him. Couldn't help but feel bad when he was upset, she wanted him to like her. To be that father figure. Seeing him with you might be the closest to that she'd ever get. It was pleasant, if not slightly sad.

“Right kid.” You ruffled her hair. “Let's get going, eh? It's such a long journey.”

She rolled her eyes but allowed you to lead her to Wade's.

Logan was shadowing the both of you, he had decided to make peace with Laura. She was a kid and the closest thing to a child the two of you would get. He vowed to make her like him.

Wade had cleaned the apartment.

He. Had. Cleaned.

Hallelujah.

It was a miracle.

“Hey!” The man waved you over with one hand, the other clutching his baby. “Come and mingle!”

Laura stuck close to you as you agreed, heading straight over to the people he gestured towards.

“Y/N, Wolverines, this is Buck and Shatterstar.”

“Hi.” You shook their hands. “This is Laura and Logan.”

“You don't have to talk to them, they're extras. We're not paying them to talk.” Wade spun you to the next people. “This is Yukio, we love Yukio, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Real name unknown. Annoys the fuck out of me so just call her whatever you want.”

“Hi.” You pulled Laura closer to the young girls. They were stark opposites. Yukio was bubbly and colourful whilst Negasonic Teenage Warhead - shit that was a name - was dark and gloomy. “This is Laura. She is amazing. We've experienced a bit of a tough time so sadly she's nonverbal at the moment but I'm sure you girls would get along.”

God you were turning into your mother.

Yukio waved, her bangles jingling. “Hi Laura. It's nice to meet you.”

Laura untucked her hands from her pockets and waved back, smiling shyly.

“Do you want to sit and watch TV or something? Get away from prying eyes.” Negasonic made direct eye contact with Wade.

Laura turned to you before agreeing and the girls sat on the unoccupied couch.

“That's surely not her name.” You whispered as Wade produced the next victim. “Oh, hi.”

It was B-15. She was standing, drink in hand, next to a man. He had a moustache and seemed harmless.

“Hello.” B-15 smiled.

“B-15 was the lovely lady who Logan annoyed into getting you here. And here is the love of my life-" he dramatically spoke "-Peter.”

Some things never change.

“How's things?” You asked the two.

“Going steady.” B-15 replied. “We've had a few issues with another being but we think that's been resolved.”

“You're talking about the Kang dynasty being written out because of the actor right?” Wade asked excitedly as Mary Puppins wriggled in his hands. He let her down and she trotted off towards the girls.

“Things are good for me at work too.” Peter sipped his cup.

Footsteps halted any response from you as you turned to see - fucking hell - Colossus duck through the door.

“I hate your apartment’s parking.” He dusted himself off.

“You're friends with Colossus?”

Wade clapped. “Ahh you know him.”

“He's… well he's a lot fucking bigger.” You mattered. “Piotr.” You held your hand out. “My name is Y/N.”

He was careful as he shook your hand. “Pleasure.”

The party progressed and your group found their way to mingle with others.

Gambit was talking to Buck and Dopinder, El had made friends with Colossus, Blade had enticed Negasonic Teenage Warhead - you needed to find out her real name - Al was comfortable sitting with B-15 and Peter and Yukio stuck with Laura - who you swore was moving her lips.

You found yourself in the kitchen, making drinks and tidying the mess. Wade had attempted to cook but after almost burning the building down opted for take out.

The mess gave you something to do whilst you waited on your dinner. Made you feel at home. The chatter just above the music swirled around you as you washed up the final bowl.

“That's usually my job.” A beautiful woman spoke from your side.

“Sorry.” You offered.

“It's okay.” She smiled and leant against the counter. “I'm Vanessa.”

Oh. She was the one Wade liked. “Y/N.”

“Been a hell of a month, eh?”

“That's an understatement.” You dried your hands.

“Wine?” She offered. “He hides the good stuff from Al.” Vanessa opened a cupboard by your knees and behind the cleaning supplies was a bottle of wine.

You didn't know the difference between ‘the good stuff’ and ‘the regular stuff’. “I'm sorry to say but I think wine tastes like piss. Has he got any rum or flavoured gin down there?”

Vanessa chuckled but delved deeper finding a bottle of rum.

She poured you a decent amount, letting you grab your mixer and then poured herself a wine.

“The scary one yours?” She nodded to Logan who was currently in a heated debate with Wade.

“Yup.”

“And you have a pup.” She commented.

“Laura and Logan.”

“I want kids.” She whispered to herself before shaking her head. “How'd you guys find each other?”

“Oh, well we're all from broken homes. We all just met.” You sipped your drink. “I met her and took her in, then I found him again. He took us both in.”

“Oh so she's not yours?” Vanessa's eyes widened. “I didn't mean that.”

“No.” You forgave her. “I know what you meant. She isn't mine but she's technically his. It's a really long story. If you want to hear it I'll happily tell you but you have to be prepared.”

Vanessa nodded and you told her your tale until the doorbell rang and food was being plated up.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead had come up to you and told you Laura was very sweet. She informed you that they had exchanged numbers and that her name was in fact “Ellie” but forbade you to ever speak it in front of Wade.

Wade had forced two tables together and stole every chair in the building for you all. Ellie, Yukio, Buck, El, Gambit, you and B-15 sat on one side of the table, whilst Laura, Logan, Wade, Vanessa, Shatterstar, Peter and Dopinder sat at the other. Colossus and Blade were at the heads.

Dinner was nice. It was Chinese food. You all had a healthy amount and ate with a regular banter.

It was just like being in the X-Mansion.

You noticed Logan relieve Wade of Mary and saw Wade's nervous breath as he spoke to Vanessa.

Your Wolverines smiled over the world's ugliest dog.

It was so domestic.

So lovely.

You loved them so much.

“They're very cute.” El nudged you with her elbow.

“I know.” You may be biassed.

“I'm glad they're getting on.” She spoke lowly, you knew if they wanted they could hear but spoke in the same tone of voice back.

“Was it really awful?”

“She's done a complete 180.”

You sighed. “Sometimes I wish I didn't hold that power over them. I'm going to die, El, they aren't.”

She turned to face you fully. “They'll be happy with whatever they get from you.”

“I know.”

“They love you.” She rubbed your back.

“And I love them.”

“I love you.”

You smirked. “And I love you, El. I don't know if I would've survived out there without you.”

“Same.” She pulled you in for a hug and you squeezed her.

It was later in the evening when Logan pulled you close. He had slipped off onto the fire escape for a break, bottle in hand and a cigar in his back pocket case anyone - Wade - questioned him.

You had found him and he motioned for you to be quiet as you joined.

The window was silently shut and he brought you to his chest.

“Why are you out here?” You whispered. “It's cold.”

“I'm warm now.” He kissed your crown. His back was against the brick of the building, in between two windows, to hide himself. You were brought in close, in hopes to conceal the two of you.

"I've been sent to bring you in, we're taking photos. I've been in so many." You giggled, slightly buzzed.

"Let me hold you for another couple minutes."

You hummed in response, wrapping your arms tighter around his waist.

“It's been a cute little party.” You commented, resting your head on him as you looked out into the distance. The buildings were beautiful. It was still relatively early so lights were shining. Each building was its own Christmas tree with colour. There was the standard warm white, purples, blues, a lime green. They all shine individually in a beautiful mosaic.

The fact that everyone was living their own life struck you. And this was one universe. The bazillions of lives that were out there was too crazy to even try to conceive.

“Your brain is loud.” He ran a hand down your back causing you to shiver. The hand landed on your ass and gave it a squeeze.

“Stop it.” You warned.

Logan raised his eyebrows in a taunt and pulled the skirt of your dress up to squeeze the pillowy flesh.

“I can't mark you any more.” He spoke plainly. It was true. The bruises he'd gift your neck now healed. He couldn't claim you and it was driving him towards insanity.

“So you want to show me off to the whole of New York?” You finished his sentence. “I don't think a public indecency charge is quite the same as leaving a hickey.”

He hummed and took a final swig of beer. “You know what you've done to me all night?” He ground his hip into you and you felt his erect dick. “You in your little dress and socks.”

“I am sorry.” You spoke without a hint of apology in your being, actually cupping him in your hand as you spoke, “It wasn't my intention.”

He groaned. “When you were sitting on our bed putting them on I knew it would be a hard night. You look like an innocent... kitten. I wanted to fuck you into next week right there and then. Wanted to have you sit on my face when you were plodding around looking for a pair of shoes. Wanted to fill you up when you were looking for that hotel.”

Fuck me. Why was he so- “So you admit there's a hotel missing?”

Logan let out a full body laugh. His chest rumbling. “I am going to fucking ruin you.”

You worried your lip in anticipation. “We better get back to bed then.”

“Why wait?”

Your eyes bulged. “You want to fuck me here?”

He looked away and shrugged playfully.

“I don't think we'd have enough time.”

“You're worried you'd be heard.”

Fuck him.

“Maybe.”

He smirked but took a step away from the wall. “C’mon. Let's say our goodbyes.”

You both re-entered the party and Wade whooped loudly. "Finally! Come on stand with Laura!"

You'd forgotten the party was waiting on you. Imagine if you had let him take you out there.

The two of you met Laura who was sheepishly smiling. You were positioned in-between the wolverines.

"Say cheese!" Vanessa joked as she held the phone.

Laura repeated the word, making the first photo taken you and Logan breaking your necks to look at her as she grinned widely.

You were flickering through the thousands of photos that were sent, perching on the arm of your sofa. Slightly tipsy as you giggled whilst swiped at them, some of them were so silly.

You'd posed with your Void family, taken candids of Wade and Vanessa, there were a few of Al and Gambit that Wade hated, Yukio has sent over a few of her, Ellie and Laura. There was a group ‘selfie’ - you'd just learned the word despite taking some - that was pure chaos.

You deleted a few that were doubles and when it got to you and your Wolverines your finger hovered above the recycle bin.

“Don't delete that one.”

You jumped, not realising he was there. Logan was leaning over the back of the sofa staring at your phone.

“My eyes are closed.” You explain.

“Because you're laughing.”

“Exactly, I have a double chin.” Wade had made you all laugh. Logan and Laura were smiling on the lower end of the spectrum whilst you were cackling like a witch in the middle. “It's a bad photo.”

“It's not if you're in it.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, basking in the compliment, and leaned into his shoulder. He had removed the flannel shirt so his shoulders were bare.

“I love your slutty little vests.”

He huffed in amusement. “My slutty little vests?”

You nod, speaking into his neck. “You're unfairly handsome. With your little waist and kitty cat hair.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No.” You pulled up, staring into his soul. “But Gambit was pouring drinks so I'm halfway.”

Logan chuckled and stood upright. He disappeared into the kitchen, much to your annoyance, and reappeared with a glass of water and some tablets. “Here.”

You accepted what he offered and swallowed the tablets with no complaints. “See how good I am at swallowing?” You wink.

Logan was taken aback. He truly hadn't expected that from you.

“What Lo? Cat got your tongue?” You batted your eyes at him. “You were all talk earlier.”

Logan licked his lips and took the glass from your hands. Placing it on the side table. He leant his hands on either side of your legs on the sofa's arm. His nose inches from yours.

“I don't think you could handle it.”

You giggled. “Logan, I don't think you-” your pointer finger touched his chest, “-could handle it.”

He lent in to kiss you but side swept. What absolute bastard behaviour! You moaned as he stood to his full height. “C’mon. Bed time.”

Bed time?!

Bed time.

Is he being- bed time?!

You grumbled before demanding, “Are you being serious? Logan.”

“You're drunk.” He folded his arms.

“No, I'm really not.” Being so close and denied was very sobering.

He smiled softly down at your pout.

Logan offered you his hand and you huffed before accepting; getting up and letting him lead you to your room.

“Don’t think I don't want to. Earlier I was feeling the buzz, I was ready like you are now, but I can't really be inebriated so I don't think it would be right.”

Logan brought you to the bathroom, setting you on to the lip of the bath to help you with your ablutions.

“It's not rapey.” You rambled. “I respect how you feel but me being tipsy and wanting to be with sober you isn't weird. We're a coup-” You stopped yourself.

It was too late.

“We're a couple?” He teased, wiping your face with a cotton pad covered in micellar water.

He tilted your face as you asked. “Well… we are, aren't we?” Brows high.

“‘course we are.” He tossed the pad in the bin. “You're my girl.”

The warm feeling you got was actually so highschool. You shouldn't have these butterflies, you're a woman.

He spoke after a while, silently helping you wash your face. “You gotta send me those photos.”

“Did Wade not send them?” Your hands which were holding your hair out of the way dropped to your sides.

“I blocked that dick the second day I got a phone.” He chuckled. “He likes to text.”

You smirked up at him. “I'll send them.”

Logan's palms cupped your cheeks. “Good, ‘cause you looked drop dead gorgeous tonight.”

@littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @br3nt-12 @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @twinkywink @ravenmedows @electricreader @racetrackheart @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae @mei-simp @slightlymediocree

The butterflies were back, your tummy and cheeks warming.

Part 12

#marvel #james logan howlett #logan howlett #logan x reader #logan #logan 2017 #deadpool #deadpool and wolverine #wolverine #the wolverine #wolverine x men #wolverine x reader #logan howlett x reader #deadpool 3

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mintywolf · 2 months ago

Text

(I wrote this on the train coming home on August 26th although I am just getting around to posting it now because time is a weird soup.)

So okay.

****

I haven’t written a personal journal post in a long time but I want to write down EVERYTHING I can remember about my adventure to NYC to see the Critical Role cast so I don’t forget. It was SUCH a moving experience and I’m so glad I went even though I was scared.

So okay my big goal for this year was to finish the first chapter of my C3 prequel fan comic A Long Road Home (southerngothiccomic.com), have a print edition made, and meet Laura and Marisha at a convention so I could give copies of it to them in person. When the CR cast announced they were going to be at Anime NYC this year I figured that was the closest they were probably going to get to me in Virginia. (And getting autographs at NYCC is reportedly like hunting a unicorn so I figured this would be my best chance.)

I was also terrified, and almost talked myself out of it because I was nervous about giving them the comic, even though I already had a badge and it was what I really, really wanted to do. I know the cast loves to see fanart — and also, it has been revealed, reads the fanfic — but it’s also a pretty well-known taboo for a fan to show their fanfic to a creator and a graphic novel is an unholy hybrid of the two. I was also worried that it would seem presumptuous of me to present them with a fanmade prequel graphic novel because there’s almost certainly going to be an official one at some point, and afraid that at best they might politely tell me they couldn’t accept it (for the reasons that comic writers aren’t “allowed” to read fanfic), and at worst they might be kind of annoyed that it exists. Either way I’d be REALLY sad, and in the weeks leading up to the con I worked myself up into an irrational panic about this. Fortunately my friends managed to talk me into not backing out (and spoilers: it turned out okay in the end!) but I was still very scared.

Also I was so focused on the comic stuff that I forgot until after GenCon earlier this month to think of what I wanted to actually have autographed. I decided to get a big print of the chapter one cover from INPRNT, assuming that since I ordered it two weeks in advance with an eta of 5-7 days that would be plenty of time for it to get to me. Well, reader, it was not. (But please do not let me dissuade you from using INPRNT! To their credit when I contacted them and asked if I could upgrade to rush delivery, they expedited it for free. Unfortunately even with rush shipping it just missed me, arriving at my house while I was on the train to NYC.)

Pâté on the train going to see his biological parents. (Laura and Marisha.)

When I saw that it wasn’t going to arrive in time I was starting to panic because there is nowhere near me to have art prints made. It’s a 15 minute drive (past the alpaca farm) just to get to the nearest grocery store. Grasping at straws I was kind of like Should I . . . draw something? On paper?? With real media that I haven’t used in like 10 years??? I only have 3 days!!!

Fortunately my life was saved by @emphaticembroiderer who had the brilliant suggestion of sending my art ahead to a print shop in NYC and picking it up before the convention. There are indeed MANY of those in New York and I managed to find one that was open on Saturdays and able to make my print on short notice. (567 Framing on W 14th street. The owner, Jack Hu, did excellent work and was very kind!) By that point I was frazzled and didn’t want two of the same print so I decided to be self-indulgent and had this one made. Not my showiest piece but it is one of my favorite things I’ve drawn. (This turned out to be the correct decision.) It’s a 6 1/2 hour train ride from here to there (and it got a little delayed along the way) so by the time I got there it was after 5 and the print shop closed at 6:30 so I zoomed over there straight from the train station to pick it up. It turned out BEAUTIFULLY, and the owner was pleased with how happy I was with it and that he’d been able to help.

He enjoys that he is included.

Then I went and checked in to my hotel and that point really just wanted to lie down on a bed but I had plans to take Pâté to see Hadestown on Broadway that night because I wanted to make the most of my trip. (Also it’s important for our scrungly son to receive a cultural education.) In keeping with the theme of the weekend I wore the Laudna-themed sundress I made for GenCon with one of the poppies in my hair. An usher told me they liked my ensemble. :) I had decided to go for a front row mezzanine seat because I didn’t know when I’d ever have this opportunity again and I didn’t want to risk my miniature self being stuck behind a tall person. It was perfect; I could see everything and the performance was AMAZING. Pâté had a very good time too.

The next day was the CR panel and autographs!! I decided to wear my 1950s Laudna cosplay from GenCon. I had some doubts about it when I got there because without the rest of 50s Bells Hells the theme isn’t as clear and outside of a DnD-focused convention the recognizability of a CR character is kind of low, let alone an AU variant on one. But once I found the Critters my Pâté poodle skirt was appreciated. :)

This is Rach @dadrielle, Astoria @astoriacolumnstaircase, Abby @overnighttosunflowers, and me as 50s Hells at GenCon!

And okay I know this said a lot but it’s true, CR fans are the NICEST fandom to be a part of. <3 If you’re ever standing in line for a CR thing by the time you get there you will have new friends. (For comparison the other-fandoms cosplayers I saw at the hotel and on the way to the con didn’t even return my smiles, even though we were all clearly going to the same place.) I fell in with a group of people who were near me in line (including an amazing Owlbearman cosplayer) and we decided to all sit together. The panel was really great. I don’t remember everything that was asked because of everything ELSE that happened later that day but they hinted that Big Things are coming (including multiple live shows!! Please come to Richmond! Or DC! Or at least somewhere on the East Coast!) for the 10th anniversary and Momlan stepped up to the mic during the Q&A segment and revealed that Sam has achieved his childhood dream . . . to become a minotaur. :D

With the mindset of making the most of this trip I had intended to try to get a spot in line to ask a question but I was hesitant about being on camera (even in cosplay) and while I was dithering about it like 50 people got in line. (I was also Suffering by that point because my rockabilly Laudna shoes have like 3 inch heels and after walking from the hotel to the convention center I didn’t have the fortitude to dart over to the line in them.)

My question, which I hope to submit next time there’s a Q&A opportunity, was this: For Marisha. We’ve seen Delilah’s influence manifesting in Laudna’s fashion choices recently. Now that she has the means and the freedom to do so, what kind of clothes would she choose for herself?

(Because I am a little sad that — until a possible post-campaign oneshot — we’ll never get to see a high-level Laudna costume that’s totally of her own design and I’m really eager to know what it would look like! Let her be spooky and free!)

Afterwards the cosplayers were being rounded up for a photo shoot but I was anxious to get a good spot in line for my autograph with Laura at 2pm so I stealthed away with Ken (@elissabrat), a Jester fan I had met in line, who knew where they were and had one with Travis at the same time. When we got there we were told No, go away and come back in an hour and a half, because it was still only 12. So we went to the Artists Alley where we found a girl named Lea whom we had also met in the panel line and collected a few other stray Critters (Ken has a boisterous and inviting personality and importantly, is very tall, preventing the rest of us from getting lost in the crowd) and we wandered around seeking out all the CR fan artists we could find. (There were a lot! It was great. I got some prints.)

by Cait May and Maliveth

Around 1 we decided to go back and see what the line situation was. Before we parted ways I exchanged twitter handles with Lea, who looked at my profile and said “Wait . . . this is you?”

She told me she was a big fan of my comic and looks forward to it every week! and we were both kind of like !!! at each other for a moment. I had never met someone who recognized my art in the wild before. (On ANY other day this would have been the most amazing thing that happened to me, haha.) I was so touched to meet her. <3

I took out the two books I was carrying and explained why I was there and we all got hyped up about it. And it made it feel a little less daunting, to know that there was someone there who understood the quest I was on and how close I was to the end of it.

I was like 5th in line for Laura and since it was still early I got to participate in that bonding experience integral to every con, sitting on the floor in cosplay, with a very good Vex behind me. (Hilariously, even after the dig at them — or maybe unaware of it — in the most recent episode, there were a lot of Funko Pop resellers around us, haha.)

I sent word to Southern Gothic Discord to remember me fondly in case I died here. In fact I'm not entirely sure that I didn't.

It felt like there was a disproportionate amount of fanfare revealing my print because I kept it how it was packed by the printer, wrapped in paper in between two pieces of cardboard so it wouldn’t get bent, so there was this whole ceremony of peeling back the tape, turning under one of the cardboard protectors, unfolding the paper, and turning over the print. But Laura loved it. She made like a happy sob when she saw it (it was really cute) and she looked at it for a long time taking in all the details and said it was beautiful. <3 <3 <3 (No matter how much we love and ship Imogen and Laudna, NO ONE loves them or is shipping them harder than Laura Bailey. She asked if I was going to bring it to Marisha too and was careful picking out a spot so there'd be room for both of their signatures. :))

I told her I was really happy to meet her because I’ve been a fan since BloodRayne (so, um. 20 years) and she said “oh wow, that was OG days!” And she gave me just a really kind look like she understood how much it meant to me to be there.

Then I gave her the comic. You all were right, I was worried about nothing! because she is the sweetest and she loved it. I very nervously pushed it across the table and said it was a comic I had made and wanted to give her. She picked it up and started turning the pages and was surprised when she saw what it was. “Wait, this is a whole novel! You made this?”

I confessed that I had, and she asked how long it had taken, I told her about a year (it was actually longer; in the moment I kind of forgot not how many pages there are in the first chapter but how many weeks are in a year) and she looked just really impressed that I had made it and touched by how much work had gone into it. She said she couldn’t wait to read it and seemed really excited to hear that it’s still going online! (So no pressure on me there if she's keeping up with it now, haha. o.o) And she kept looking between the book and me like she couldn’t believe it.

Then she asked me if I would sign it for her. :')

Somehow I survived long enough to do so! (a little wobbly because my hands were shaking) and someone (I think it was the ticket scanner) made a joke about how I was the first person to give an autograph at a signing, haha. And then she came around the table and gave me a hug. <3 <3 <3

After that my soul was still on the ethereal plane but the rest of me managed to find my way (after a brief wrong turn) to Marisha’s line. (There was a really good Keyleth and Caduceus in line behind me and they kindly noticed and returned the Pâté sticker that fell out of Marisha’s book).

She recognized my cosplay as 1950s Laudna right away! which was very validating after my earlier indecision haha. She loved the Pâté skirt and thought the scissors embroidery on my collar was adorable. She really liked the art too and was kind of like “Awww” about the book like in an “aww it’s an Imogen and Laudna thing” kind of way (she also liked the glass bottle windchimes on the cover and I love that she noticed that detail because Laudna’s penchant for turning things other people have thrown away into arts and crafts is one of my favorite aspects of her character) until she opened it and started looking through it.

Then she said, “Wait, this is actually really good," and she asked me seriously if Liam “Art Dad” knew about it (I said he had liked some of my other art on Twitter but I didn’t know if he knew about the comic) and then she said — still looking at it, more to herself than me — “We’ll have to add it to our art catalogue.” I don’t know exactly what that means (and I don’t want to get my hopes up too high by speculating; I was too !!! in the moment to ask and now I’m going to be wondering) but . . . it sounds . . . exciting??

They also both enjoyed Pâté and his lil sunglasses. :)

I had gone up with the intention of asking my other burning question: How does being cold-blooded affect Laudna in cold climates? If she gets too cold will she enter a state of brumation like a lizard? Will she freeze solid?

But I forgot. And it really wouldn’t have been the right moment. Maybe when I come back with Volume Two. :)

You’re supposed to pay extra to get a quote put on there but they both did it anyway without even asking. I think they must be really pleased when someone brings them something personal that they’ve made to have signed and not something they’re planning to sell.

After that I just kind of floated away from the con even though it was only like 2:30 haha. Nothing else could have happened there that would have equaled or improved upon that experience. Although I did adopt a Tentacle Kitty. The vendor (correctly) guessed “you look like you’d vibe with our spooky collection” so I had to get a new buddy for Pâté. (50s Laudna, still readily identifiable as a witch wherever she goes.) Also I saw a very chill emotional support pomeranian in a backpack.

(On the way back I saw the mark of the Traveler graffiti’d in green on the sidewalk. Truly a blessed day. :P)

Afterwards I just sat on the bed in my hotel room amid the floof of my crinoline wondering what even is my life for the next few hours and being like !!!! at Discord. Then I met up with Abby (whom it was wonderful to see again!! thank you so much for coming to see me) for dinner and had a really lovely time going over the What Just Happened of it all and talking about Imodna over strawberry pancakes. As one does. Perfect ending to an amazing day. <3

It was SUCH an incredible, exhilarating experience, thank you everyone who pushed me into not giving up out of fear. Laura and Marisha are SO nice and gracious in person and it was just so rewarding, after all the work and love and time I’ve put into this comic, to be able to finally bring it to the people who inspired it! And to see it appreciated and admired by them! It was more than I ever could have imagined.

This fandom is the best. My heart is so happy and full of love right now. <3 <3 <3

#irl mintywolf #storytime #critical role

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cressidagrey · 5 months ago

Text

Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours- Chapter 2: Gwyneth Bedara, Valkyrie

Summary:

5 Times Cassian thought that Azriel had feelings for somebody and then 1 time he finally met the girl his brother was in love with.

Warnings:

Rhys Bashing

Notes:

I put a lot of world building into this. If you don't recognise it from canon, I probably invented. Or I forgot that canon existed.

(thanks to @firefly-graphics for the super pretty dividers!)

Cassian thought he was going crazy.

Ever since he had talked to Azriel about Mor…there seemed to be a minute shift in his behaviour. It had taken a while until Cassian could put his finger on it though.

Azriel seemed much more…content. Quicker to smile, quicksilver things that disappeared quickly. Even his shadows seemed happier. Calmer.

No longer nearly strangling him, like they had done after Elain and Lucien got engaged and then married… Then, Cassian had often caught a peek at how the shadows clung to Azriel’s bare skin like they were part of him. Like they didn’t dare to leave him alone in fear of…something.

Cassian had never allowed himself to think about what that could be. But now…now they were back to swirling behind him, sometimes darting out to investigate something and Azriel seemed…calmer.

Calmer and intense .

Cassian was waiting for something to happen, something to tell him who it was that Azriel had given the flowers to. He clearly had bought them with an intended recipient and Cassian just knew that it wasn’t him.

The flowers had been too beautiful for a joke. Azriel had given them to somebody he liked.

And Cassian was going to find out who it was.

And then he did. They were at another training session at the House of Wind, when Azriel’s voice reached his ears, talking to Gwyn, one of the Valkyries, One of Nesta’s best friends.

“Is the teapot working?” Azriel asked, his voice sounding hesitant and pleased and Cassian couldn’t help but watch that whole interaction because for cauldron’s sake what were they talking about?

Gwyn smiled at Azriel, twirling a strand of hair around a finger. It was…

Huh.

Now he was curious.

“Oh yes, it’s great!” Gwyn responded, her smile blinding. “Though you really didn’t need to do that…” That was all Cassian needed to hear.

Gwyneth Bedara.

Azriel had found himself a pretty, red-haired priestess to love, hadn’t he? A priestess and a warrior. Somehow that seemingly fitted him just perfectly.

And if Azriel had bought Gwyn a teapot of all things…maybe all the other gifts had just been used to wash away any evidence of him doting on her? Maybe Azriel was courting her?

Maybe he was keeping it quiet for some reason, both of them unsure and not wanting to share with their family yet. That would make sense.

Oh, he was so happy for Az!

Nearly giddy with excitement he went to meet his brother in the training ring.

He kept his mouth shut, not without difficulty, though that was because Azriel was trying to put him on his ass that day, Even managing to burn out one of his siphons.

Replacing them usually sucked because they were worked into the leather that held them into place. If one needed to replace them…well, then the only way to do that was to open up a seam at the edge, carefully work out the old one, slide a new one in place and sew it back up. Not exactly user-friendly. Better than them flying all over the place though.

Trying to get them to stick any other way hadn’t really been a futile attempt.

And then Azriel’s siphons burned out, and instead of opening up the whole thing, Azriel used a screwdriver, removed the old and slid a new one in place, tightening it back down. It didn’t even take a minute.

“How?” Cassian demanded suddenly, staring at him like he had grown a second head. “What did you do with them?” Cassian asked him. “Why is that so much easier for you?”

“I am trying something out,” Azriel said, holding out the old siphon so that Cassian could see the mechanism on the backside of it.

“How?” Cassian asked him again, unable to keep the wonder out of his voice. This…This was genius. “I want this.” No more spending 20 minutes each time trying to fit them into place? Sign him up. What did he need to do?

“I am just testing it out,” Azriel warned him. Cassian just glared at him. Cassian was so bad at leather work, the stitches on his own leather always uneven that he didn’t even care what he needed to do to get his hands on that kind of mechanism. “Give me a few weeks to figure out if there is anything that needs to be changed,” Azriel finally said with a sigh.

“Fine,” Cassian agreed long sufferingly. “But then you are going to share that because I have no patience for leatherwork. By the way, that would have made a much better gift than the bunch of stupid flowers,” he said pointedly.

A much better gift.

In revenge, Cassian used that evening’s family dinner, which Azriel finally attended for once, to get on his brother’s nerves about his crush on a certain red-headed priestess.

“Az, did you really buy Gwyn a tea set?” he asked with a shit-eating grin. A tea set. Who knew that that was going to be the thing that Azriel bought a long-suffering female? It wasn’t what Cassian would have gone for. But then, it was Azriel and Gwyn and not Cassian and Nesta. So really…

Azriel just stared at him, hazel eyes wide.

“No,” he responded. Too quickly.

“I literally heard you ask her about it today ,” Cassian pointed out, more amused about that lie than anything.

“A teapot? Really? Of all the things you could buy a female, that’s what you are going with?” Mor asked, laughing. “You are 540 years old, Az.”

Cassian could literally see how Azriel pulled back into himself at these words. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked him after all. Maybe it was none of his business. Maybe…

“Gwyn helped me pull some books as research for a friend of mine. My friend gave her the tea set as a thank-you gift. I was just the one who delivered it,” Azriel finally answered.

“You have friends that aren’t us? I am proud of you,” Cassian said.

The near-imperceptible flinch from Az was enough to make him feel like a piece of shit. He shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t fair. Everybody would be lucky to have a friend like Azriel.

“What kind of research?” he asked quickly, hoping to soothe any ruffled feathers.

“Armour.” Azriel nearly bit out that word, clearly upset with him and Cassian couldn’t even fault him for that.

“Armour?” Mor asked curiously.

Oh, Armour! “Was your friend the one that fixed the Siphon problem?” he asked quickly. Maybe Azriel and Gwyn had gotten together while researching stuff. That would make sense!

Azriel just inclined his head.

“The Siphon problem?” Rhys asked at that moment. “What kind of problem?” And there came Rhysie, as always ready to make every problem his own.

“You know how annoying it is that they are worked into the leather? Azriel had it fixed that they clipped onto it instead. Makes it way easier to change them out when needed,” Cassian explained with a wave of his hands. If it actually worked, he was going to buy that friend of Az whatever amount of alcoholic beverages he wanted. As long as Cassian never needed to pick up a needle and thread again.

“Quite inventive,” Amren piped up.

“Yes, but Az is being stingy and not sharing,” Cassian said with a long-suffering sigh.

“I am not being stingy,” Azriel said, rolling his eyes. eyes. “I just want to test it first. Do you want your Siphon to fall off during a fight? Probably not.” Since when was Azriel being reasonable?

“That would be impractical,” Cassian needed to agree, even when he didn’t want to. “But I still expect you to share the spoils. When you have done all your experiments .”

Azriel went back to being quiet, pushing around the food on his plate.

Ugh, fine. Time to bring out the big guns.

Hey, Rhys! RHYSIE ! Cassian sing songed in his mind, pretty much doing the equivalent of screaming into Rhys’ ear to get his brother’s attention.

Yes , Cassian? Rhys gave back long-sufferingly.

I think Azriel is seeing Gwyn! I wanna know if I am right, he told Rhys quickly.

And, pray, tell, what exactly do you want me to do?

Your mind-talking thing. Can you mention Gwyn to him and then we’ll see how he reacts to it? Maybe Rhys was going to have more luck than Cassian himself. Somehow he doubted it though. Still. Worth a try. Please, Rhysie, he wheedled. I just want Az to be happy.

He could feel his brother’s amusement at his words, though he knew that Rhys would agree. Gwyn, you said? Rhys said, thoughtfully. I could see that. She has been having a crush on him for a long time.

See, Cassian was clearly on the right track!

He bought her a teapot, Cassian said with some amusement.

Clearly, he must want to marry her. If he already bought a teapot, Rhys responded sagely, pulling back from his mind and Cassian trained his eyes on their other brother.

Azriel’s face stayed carefully blank, but Cassian could still…see something on his face.

It wasn’t what he had thought he would see though. Maybe a dusting of red over his ears. Maybe a shy smile. Not the near anger that overcame Azriel’s face. The near anger and something like bitterness. Azriel’s hands tightened around his cutlery so tightly that for a moment Cassian wondered if he was going to stab Rhys with it.

He didn’t.

Cassian caught the moment Rhys pulled out of Azriel’s mind because the High Lord nearly shuddered with something.

I don’t think so, Cassian, Rhys said, his voice quiet.

Are you sure?

If there is something, he wants us to leave it alone. He nearly threw me out of his mind, Rhys said pointedly.

Huh. Maybe he just feels protective.

Or maybe Rhys was wrong about Gwyn having a crush on him. Though he didn’t believe that.

Maybe…

Instead, Cassian went to the one person that needed to listen to him wax dramatically about Azriel’s love life, because he was mated to her. No Take-Backs! She was stuck with him.

Nesta seemed less than amused about it though.

“Cassian, leave it alone,” she told him harshly and he pouted.

“I just want them to be happy! And I think they could really fit together, Gwyn and Az…” That’s how far he came.

“Oh for Cauldron’s sake, Cassian,” she snapped. “Gwyn asked Azriel out and he brushed her off weeks ago!” Wait, what?

“And she’s still hung up about it, so don’t you dare hound her!” Nesta continued. “She was so proud for finally taking all her courage to ask him and then he turned her down. Granted, apparently, he was lovely about it, but it still broke her heart,” Nesta sighed.

“What? Really?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes,” Nesta said with a roll of her eyes.

“Well, why didn’t you say something?” he complained. “I had Rhys pester Az for nothing.”

“Because it’s none of our business?” his mate asked him drily.

It was.

“I just want Azriel to be happy,” Cassian said softly, sitting down at the edge of their bed to kick off his shoes.

Nesta seemed to soften at his words, nearly imperceptible, sitting down next to him, carefully laying out the folds of her dress across her lap.

“He is, Cassian,” she told him, calmly.

“You don’t know that,” he disagreed. “I don’t know it either, because it’s not like the idiot actually talks about the things that bother him. Sometimes I think he feels like every painful moment in his life was clearly designed to be totally justified and punish him for something that he thinks he has done.”

“Gwyn said that Az said that he was spoken for,” Nesta cut him off. “That’s what he used to turn her down. He said he was spoken for. That it was new. But he seemed really happy about it.”

Oh.

Of course, it could be that Azriel had outright lied because he simply wasn’t interested in Gwyneth for whatever reason, but Cassian didn’t think so. Maybe it was something different…maybe it was…

“So he has a secret lover.” A smile bloomed on Cassian’s face at that. “I am going to find out who it is.”

“Please don’t,” Nesta muttered.

#Azriel Fanfiction #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #my writing #azriel x reader #azriel x oc #Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours #A Court of Gold and Shadows

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